Page 29 of The Library of Second Chances
“I knew your building was for sale before our walk with Gladys. Mayor Jenkins told me yesterday.” He paused, searching her face for a reaction.
Her first thought was that somehow, someway he wanted to buy it. Her mind started racing. What would he be like as a building owner? Would he renew her lease next year? Would it mean he was staying in town? Had he somehow fallen in love with the town and truly wanted to stay and make it better?
No, that was ridiculous. She searched his eyes, but he wasn’t giving anything away. Her heart was pounding. What was this about?
“Yes… and?”
Logan took a sip of his wine. “He also may have let it slip that you were interested in buying the building yourself.”
Her heart slammed against her chest. That wasn’t what she’d been expecting. She cleared her throat, grabbing her glass of water for a drink.
“It’s more of a dream than an actual effort.” She wasn’t about to tell him how overwhelmed she’d been at the bank when they peppered her with questions about its renovation history, her proposed schedule for the maintenance a building that age needed, and her knowledge of the tax credits available for the work. She’d known so few of the answers that she’d left feeling embarrassed and overwhelmed. She knew Jerry—the banker she’d known since grade school—hadn’t meant anything by it. He was just doing his job. But he’d made her realize how little she knew about owning a historic building versus merely appreciating it.
“Why do you think it’s just a dream?” He placed his arms on the table and leaned in, his eyes watching her carefully.
She fingered the anchor on her necklace and glanced at the family at the table to her right. A toddler was on the ground next to the table pushing a tiny dump truck through the sand. She concentrated on him to avoid looking at Logan.
“It was just silly, really. I don’t know what made me think I could manage a whole building. I don’t know anything about having tenants or maintaining a historic building.”
“You do know how you eat an elephant, right?” His tone was playful. “One bite at a time. What scares you about owning the building and being a landlord? Let’s go through your objections one by one.”
She looked out at the dunes, deliberating on whether she wanted to share her fears with someone she barely knew. Part of her still really wanted the building, and maybe Logan would have some helpful insights. After all, he was a lawyer and consulted with local governments. He seemed like a pretty smart guy.
Remembering the quote Gatsby’s Ghost marked in the latest book about how hesitation triggered the brain to stop action, she decided to be brave and share with Logan. Maybe Gatsby’s Ghost was on to something. Maybe she was the only thing holding her back.
She told him about the other tenants having leases coming up for renewal in the next year, and how she wasn’t sure how much to price their rent in a new lease. The previous owner had mentioned he had reserves for things like replacing the roof and air-conditioning units, but she wouldn’t have that kind of money up front and worried she might be getting in over her head. She’d worked up a business plan from a template she and Taylor found online, but the bank wanted her to come back withsomething far more detailed than the template since it hadn’t specifically been for a historic building.
Logan listened to all her concerns respectfully, and then said, “I don’t mean to pry, so you can tell me to shut up if you want.” He continued when she didn’t stop him. “Would you have the kind of cash you’d need to put down on a building like that?”
It was a personal question, but living in a small town, she was used to other people being in her business. Shoving hesitation away, she took a deep breath and dove into the deep end.
“I inherited a little when my dad passed, and the mortgage on my beach cottage is paid off. It’s where I grew up.” She decided to keep going in case he thought to ask about her mother. That definitely crossed the line into something way too personal. “Annie—the woman who owned the bookstore before me—left me what little she had along with the store. She never had kids and didn’t have any other family to speak of.” The words tumbled out before she realized how much she was telling him. She fidgeted with one of her earrings, looking back out at where the ocean met the horizon.
Logan let out a whoosh of breath. “Wow, you’ve had a lot of loss in your life, huh?” He leaned back in his chair, as if he needed a moment to gather his thoughts.
She bit her lip. He had no idea. “It is what it is. Obviously, I’d give up the cottage and the bookstore to have Dad and Annie back in my life again, but I’m incredibly grateful for the legacy they both left behind. They gave me my life here.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, who was Annie to you?”
“She was family. Not the blood kind, but the family you choose kind. My childhood—” she paused, asking herself again why she was divulging so much to him so easily and coached herself to dial it back. “It was complicated. Although I couldn’t always afford to buy a new book, the bookstore was my favorite place to be because of Annie. There was just something abouther. She always knew exactly what someone needed to hear, whether it was from her or in a book she suggested. I worked there in high school, and she’s the reason I wanted to become a librarian. That’s what I did before she passed and left me the bookstore.”
Logan was quiet, so she continued, the wine clearly having loosened her tongue. “I like to think she knew what she was doing when she left me the store. She knew it would bring me back home. My dad was still alive then, and it gave me some great years with him before he passed a couple years ago. Heart attack. He was only sixty-four. Annie was like that though. She was intuitive. She always knew exactly what people needed, from something as simple as the right book at the right time or something bigger like bringing me home as an adult.”
“Was it a hard decision to give up your job and move back to run the store?” He was leaning forward, his attention fixed squarely on her as if her story was the most interesting one he’d ever heard.
“Nope. It was the easiest decision I’ve ever made. I’m honored to carry on Annie’s legacy and that of her family.” She didn’t add that Annie’s timing couldn’t have been better. She’d just found out her publisher was closing its doors, and the weight of the embarrassment when she had to tell her coworkers her book wasn’t being published had been nearly too much to bear. She’d happily escaped their looks of pity and their constant questions about whether she’d found a new publisher.
No one on Heron Isle even knew about her failed attempt at becoming an author, except Taylor, and it certainly wasn’t ammunition she planned to give Logan. She’d already told him enough embarrassing information for one evening.
Twelve
Logan
Logan was still absorbing everything Lucy had just told him. Pieced together with what he’d learned from the mayor about her mother leaving town, he was getting a clearer picture of Lucy and her motivations. He was only an armchair psychologist, but if he had to guess, he’d say she clung to familiar things—like the town and her answering machine—because her entire life had been like a hurricane spinning around her, constantly throwing things into disarray. No wonder she had such an aversion to change.
He studied her face, the pain in her eyes as evident as those of a puppy who’d been dropped off at a shelter. She was her own worst enemy. She didn’t take risks, trying only to maintain the status quo. But in her attempts to avoid the lows of life, she was missing out on the highs.
She was clearly uncomfortable talking about her experience at the bank, but she shouldn’t be embarrassed. It wasn’t as if she would have learned this stuff majoring in library sciences.Maybe if he helped her, she’d be a better teammate on the waterfront project.
