Page 7 of Hesi-Dating
For me to not go home with Seth had been new. Even though I couldnotget involved with any man in law enforcement, it wouldn't have stopped the normal me from sampling everything Seth had to offer. Abnormal new me discovered something about Seth empowered me to say no. The heady feeling of that kind of control made me want to see him again. To see if I could walk away twice. It wasn't that I didn't want him. Far from it. I wanted that man so much more than almost anyone I'd been out with in years. For two weeks I'd dreamed about him. I fought the urge to text him every few hours since our not-really-a-date. But I was able to say no because I didn't want to hurt him. His ex had already done a number on him.
I had a complicated past. Not the kind of past that would put me in jail if the sheriff found out about it, but the kind that came with baggage. Mine was an association with someone wanted by the law. He'd never qualify as a friend in my book. Nosh wasn't a small-time criminal, but a person on the top ten lists for local law enforcement and FBI. If they found out I knew him well enough to have his phone number, even if I didn't want to associate with him anymore and I didn't participate in his illegal activities, they might want to use me to get to him.
Or so I'd been warned by him many times in his obsessive need to control everyone around him. His "concern" about me didn't stem from worry about my welfare. He only cared about protecting his own hide.
Yet, now two weeks after our not-quite-a-date, I couldn't stop thinking about Seth. I might not have become his regret, but he’d sure become mine. Everything about the night with Seth shook me. A man with his low voice and careful manners who was hurting on the inside cried out to everything I found irresistible. Although I still didn’t want to be the one-night stand he needed to get beyond his divorce, I wanted to see him again.
I thumbed through news on my phone. My desk mate had taken a break over an hour ago. He took a lot of breaks, but his job was safe since his father was upper ranks in the corporation. Nepotism at its finest. I didn’t care enough to make a fuss about it. Plus, there were a lot less complaints about the clogged toilet in his apartment when he wasn't around.
I paused on a breaking news story from north of San Diego. An officer had been hit and killed on the side of the interstate while trying to help a family whose car had broken down. The victim had driven a sheriff's vehicle.
Oh God, don’t let it be Seth.
I scanned the article, heart pounding. Further down were comments from Sheriff Seth Briscoe about the tragedy.
Sigh of relief.
How awful for the family of the deputy who'd just been doing his job.
I wondered how Seth handled this kind of tragedy on top of everything else. Why did I care so much about this man who I’d probably never see again and barely "saw" once?
Damn it. I should've hooked up with him to get him out of my system. That was the kind of girl I was, right? I didn't do relationships. I didn't double dip for more than two days. I never looked back. It'd worked for me for years. So long as I continued that scenario, my "baggage" stayed in the past.
I kept telling myself I'd done the right thing, but it didn't help.
My phoned buzzed with an incoming call. Gino. He'd become my best friend after we met two years ago during my failed attempt at cosmetology. Talk about something I truly sucked at doing. My attempts at hair color had ended in frying hair or turning it a shade not known in nature.
Gino was a gorgeous dark-skinned man and I'd had a tough time figuring out what side he batted for until he hit on our male waiter one day at lunch. I'd been disappointed, but him never making a pass at me finally made sense. We'd become fast friends after we both became style school dropouts.
"Hey," I answered.
"So? Did the sheriff call you again?"
"No."
"I started following him online. It's not him doing the posting, but he's still…" Gino whistled. "Lordy, girl, that man is hot. He's got an ass to die for. Have you seen his Insta posts? There's this one of him leaning over to teach a girl how to use her bike lock. It's some sort of PSA, but they posted the perfect back-end angle. He looks amazing in that uniform with the slight gray on the sides in his dark hair. No clue why you'd let that man go without a taste."
"It wasn't right for him. He's fresh off a divorce." Gino didn't know my past. Didn't know why me dating law enforcement was a no-can-do.
A low chuckle came from the other end. "Girl, you like dick almost as much as me. There's something seriously wrong if you're saying no to him. He's older, which means he'd take his time and probably knows how to make you purr."
"I'm jealous of how easy it is for you to find a guy and date him for a while. Then be able to end it with the two of you best friends."
"You're jealous of me? You're the one who set me up with my past three successful relationships. You're the guru of understanding matches and navigating those online dating apps. I don't know how you do it so well for me and other people but not for yourself."
"I can see connections when I do it for someone else, but not for me."
"I still don't understand why you didn't at least sample the hot sheriff. Not even some tongue action?"
Did he know I’d labeled Seth's as "Hot Sheriff” in my contacts?
I cleared my throat and said, "I didn't want to hurt him by not feeling it like he did."
"Okaaayy," he said sarcastically. "Damn shame if he'd been willing. Are we still on for spa day tomorrow?"
"I can only afford a pedicure this time."
"Then our toes will be gorgeous, girl. I need my time with celeb magazines and the smell of nail polish. Do you want me to book it?"
