Page 41 of Hesi-Dating
I made eye contact before the light changed. Would she be the kind of girl who cheated?
"What?" She released an affronted gasp. "I'd never do that. By now you know if I decided I could get over my own trust issues to jump into a relationship with you or anyone, if I lost interest or wanted to move on, I'd damn well tell you. I'm pretty good at the good-byes. Believe me."
"Marriage makes things more complicated, I guess. The vows and all."
"Vows or not, it's not healthy for her to blame her misery on you. I get how you'd want to be cautious about who you let back into your life and on your trust team. I hate that she did that to you. She should've been your number one support. Your wife should be the person who could be your escape from work."
"Things just…fell apart." Kara might've been my escape for the first few years but then something changed.Looking back, it correlated with when Ray had moved closer to us. A sinking suspicion they'd been having an affair for a lot longer than I'd been aware settled in. Kara found complaint in everything, especially in my work. I had assumed it was my fault since I was away for long hours, even longer when I got elected sheriff.When my dad died, I'd been in a dark place for a long time. Work helped me not think about it.
"Why do you have trust issues?" I asked her.
Her eyes met mine, filled with so much pain that I wanted to demand who did that to her. I hadn't known her long enough to be feeling this protective.
"Was it something in one of your foster homes?"
"That…there's a lot. It's not something I'm ready to talk about." She turned away from me to look out the passenger window.
Disappointment flared. I told her things I hadn't discussed with anyone, not even my therapist. Yet, she refused to tell me anything about her past. "I guess we really haven't known each other that long."
"It's not you, Seth. I don't talk about the past with anyone." Softly she added, "Not remembering is the only way I can move on."
Those were the words of a victim. Unhealthy to ignore the past, but I'd heard similar before. My mind had little trouble offering up the extremes of badness she could've been through. My stomach twisted. I wished I could take away her pain, but it wasn't mine to heal. She had to do it herself.
Now why couldn't I see that for myself over the stupid divorce?
She gave me a small smile. "I got your back today. Don’t worry. How are you going to introduce me? Have we been dating long? Are we to girlfriend-boyfriend status?"
"How about we don't give each other titles and not give anyone else details?"
"I like that."
* * *
The breathtaking terraced venue was set to show off a valley and the vineyards. I held her hand as we descended to the main assembly area. The bride and her bridesmaids were out of sight. The groomsmen milled around the bar. The sheer number of used shot glasses didn't bode well for an incident-free wedding.
"You ready?" I whispered.
"Showtime, baby." She squeezed my hand.
"I’ve got to go talk to the groom for a minute. Got to reassure him I’ve got the rings. His name is Dylan. Great guy. He’s one of my deputies. You want to meet him?"
"He looks busy with the other groomsmen. You go do your thing."
"You sure you're okay on your own for a few minutes?"
"I see some people I know. Don't worry about me. See you in a few."
"You know people here?" When I hesitated to leave, she waved me off.
"I'm a big girl, Sheriff. I promise I won't get drunk and make an ass of myself or embarrass you."
"Even drunk I don't think you could possibly embarrass me."
"You haven't seen me dance. A pole dance I can do, but social dance? Nope."
I blinked. Pole dance?
My mind scrambled a little bit. I reached for something to say, but my tongue felt heavy, clumsy.
