Page 22 of Hesi-Dating
"Sure. I'll get someone on that," Walt said distractedly.
"What's wrong?"
"Can we talk about Clara?"
Oh, boy.I pinched the bridge of my nose. "What about her?"
"She still reeks of a giant fart since that teenaged perp set off a stink bomb by accident. I can't do her anymore, man. Please."
It took every bit of professionalism for me not to laugh. "I said we'd pay to have her detailed."
"I did. Twice. Two different services. They said there's nothing more to do that will get the fart smell out. I've got three air fresheners. My intake last night complained. I can't handle the stress of this kind of work environment anymore."
I compressed my lips to avoid smiling.
He held up his hands in prayer position. "Can't you give her to a rookie? Anything to switch cars for me?"
"Who do you suggest I give her to?"
"Rivera."
"What did he do to deserve Clara?"
"He reported Sherwood for doing an emergency set up." That meant Sherwood had set all the emergency lights and sirens to go off when someone started the car. Standard rookie prank. No one hurt.
Why couldn't I be spared this bullshit? I managed not to grumble it out loud before I asked, "You want me to assign Rivera the fart car as a punishment?"
"Yes."
"If I do this, you won't ever mention Clara or fart smells to me again?"
He nodded.
"All right. Melanie just got put in charge of the assigned vehicle program. Ask her to do the change." When he didn't move to leave, I gave him a double eyebrow raise. "Are we done?"
"I'm worried about you, man." He picked at one of his nails. "I'm damned proud of you for doing the app date to begin with, but that date was weeks ago. Then you got a second chance with her, and you didn't take it. She calledyoufor help.Why didn't you make a move on her?"
Never said I didn't make a play for her.I opened a few screens on my computer, hoping he'd read it as a dismissal. "My personal life isn't up for discussion."
"I get that you have FODA?—"
"What's that?" I interrupted.
"Fear of dating again. I also get that there's a lot of ways dating can go sideways. You're not getting any younger. You need to put yourself out there and sample. Stop wasting your time hesi-dating."
"That means what?"
"You can't decide if you want something serious or casual to the point you're indifferent about dating. I vote go with casual dating for now."
Was I hesi-dating? Weird word. Maybe I was. "I've never been a casual guy. It's not my speed."
ChapterNine
JOLEY
The slacker at work got fired even though his father worked upstairs, which was a surprise but good from a business perspective. He hadn't been pulling his weight since I started. Now there was just me and one other person to run the front desk on alternating schedules. HR said they were working on hiring, but the HR guy worked six floors up and it didn't sound like filling the position was on his priority list. Apparently, they were hiring security guards this week. Reception next week.
I'd just helped the sixth person find the right floor for the marketing meeting. They'd brought in a lot of consultants for their newest project.
