Page 17 of Hesi-Dating
This man was lethal, and he didn't even know he posed a huge threat to me. A six-foot-something bomb of temptation. There was an innate honor about him, something so regal that it went beyond the corded muscles of his forearms and the strong chin covered by six o'clock shadow. It came from deep inside him. A self-confidence. An assurance. I felt the force of it in this moment while understanding his concern for me went beyond superficial worry. Inside, I suspected he was beating himself up for his choices that led to me getting hurt.
I pulled his hand away from my face and held it. "You weren't the one who did it. You can't control everyone."
"I shouldn't have left you. He wouldn't have bothered you if I'd stayed."
"He's a jerk who went too far. I get hit on by assholes all the time. It's annoying. They don't usually pull a gun or actually hit me, though."
"I chose the place and I left to take a call." A muscle ticked along his chiseled jaw. "He should've accepted your no."
Everything in me wanted to jump out of the car and book a ride off an app. Not because I feared Seth. I feared my response to him. But I didn't move. Somehow, the magic of the man kept me enthralled. The heat of his body so close and the intoxicating scent of his aftershave or deodorant drowned out everything else around us.
Stop staring at his lips. Stop wanting him to kiss you. You can't get involved with him.
He stared back.
His phone dinged, breaking the magnetic energy between us. He scrolled on the phone. "Ron towed your car. It's at the tire store. I'll text you the store's info so you can call in the morning. They're closed now."
"I can't thank you enough for arranging that. I owe you for the tow."
"Let's call it even since I owe you for saving my life." He cranked the truck and drove a long time in silence, listening to a country radio station on the highway back toward the city.
Once closer, I broke the silence to give directions. As a person who often spoke out of nervousness, I found myself okay with the silence. It wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. Simply introspective.
When we pulled into my suburban neighborhood his phone dinged. I caught a glimpse of memorial arrangements for Jake as the topic. My chest cinched tight. That had to be the officer that died.
"You all right? Was that important?" I could tell he wasn't okay when he glanced at the text but had little hope he'd let me shoulder some of his stress. In what little time I'd spent with him I'd discovered he wasn't a guy to complain to alleviate the buildup of anxiety or burdens. He kept to himself. He was that kind of strong. Holding it all in had to eat at him after a while. "It's that stucco house up on the left with the green door."
He pulled into the driveway. "Just work stuff."
"I saw the word memorial. Is it for the deputy who passed away?"
"Funeral will be on Saturday." He gripped the steering wheel tight. "I can't believe he's gone. Can't wrap my head around losing a friend from something as stupid as walking on the wrong side of a car on the interstate." His chin fell. "Damn it. He knew better."
"Would you like me to go with you to the memorial?" Why had I offered? I hated funerals. I also shouldn't spend more time with Seth. It was dangerous for me, especially if we got anywhere near a bed or a closet or even another dark night in a car.Stop it.
"Youwantto go to the funeral?" His eyebrows shot up. He knew it was the kind of offer someone who cares might make but not really mean. "You don't need to do that."
He was offering me the expected out. I should take it. But the pain on his face that he usually hid from the world was out in the open…damn it. He needed a friend.
But I didn't want to go to the funeral, not if there was potential to be seen in media coverage. I couldn't be seen with him in that manner.
"They're difficult events. I'll be fine. It's not my first rodeo." He offered a small smile but stared down at his empty hands.
God, this man. I unclicked my seat belt and leaned across to hug him. His left arm wrapped me tighter than expected. I kissed his cheek before letting go. "I won't go with you to it, but you call or text me if you need someone to talk to or if you change your mind at the last minute. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you spending your time off on a work night to help me. That whole thing with that jerk wasn't your fault. I blame it on the girls." I waved at my chest. "They're a problem."
He lifted my hand to his mouth and laid a kiss on the top of it. "I don't want some random girl from an app. I respect where you are right now and us staying out of anything complicated, but I won't say I like it." His eyes burned in the glow from our outdoor auto light that came on when anyone pulled into the driveway. They burned with the unsaid words.I want you.
I want you too. Too much. Far too much."Goodnight, Seth."
ChapterSeven
JOLEY
"What the hell took you so long to go up to that library and back?" Bruno stormed toward me the moment I entered. He was in a sweaty tank top and cutoff sweatpants. In the past six months, he'd gone from being a bit rounded to being obsessed with keeping in shape. People often misjudged Bruno because he was Mexican, surprised when they found out English was his first language. In fact, people misjudged me and all my siblings each for our own reasons. They thought Amber was a loser hippie with her dyed hair and a few facial piercings. Marino got pulled over by police or stopped on the street all the time because of what he looked like.
"If you were worried, you could've texted." I crossed my arms.
He scowled. A year and a half older than me, Bruno turned the big three-one last week. There’d been fanfare as there always was for the days surrounding his birthday. The abandoned son of a Mexican immigrant, he was a lovable combination of wildly funny, laid back, and wicked smart. Case in point: he was in his last year of law school. Like me, he did classes at night. Bruno deejayed at a local radio station during the day to make cash to help pay for school.
