Page 16 of Total Eclipse of the Moon
"I don't know. I just…wanted to help him in some way." Madeline’s face flashed warm. His mouth on hers…the way he touched her, gentle and respectful as if she was the only woman in the universe who inspired in him that level of need. Never had she felt that kind of instant physical connection. Even though she’d spent years avoiding Shane and his brothers on purpose, he’d have been the kind of man she avoided anyway. He was too insightful and far too handsome with his bright blue eyes that transmitted an honest, deep-set integrity. He didn’t waste time on lies or deception. He didn’t hide behind pretty words or false compliments. In the time since they parted in Mexico, she wondered if she felt so strongly for him because the two of them could never be together.
Yet something about him beyond attraction inspired her need to help. To do something to make his life better. Maybe it was guilt. She was the reason his life was crap.
"What exactly happened with the lycan? This is the brother rumored to be able to seduce women with a smile. Did he seduce you into helping him?"
"No. I did it voluntarily."
Cora made a skeptical noise. She removed three cards from the tarot deck on the table, only flipping over one: The Fool.
They both stared at the card in silence.
The Fool could mean many things. It could reflect embarking on a journey or be a symbol for placing trust in the universe, something Madeline had repeatedly failed at ever since it screwed her over. Right now, she saw its literal meaning. She was the fool for trusting herself, for reading anything into what happened between her and Shane.
Cora said, "When the rest of the world tells you not to do something, to turn back, it’s far easier to give up than keep going." So soft it was tough to hear her, she added, "It’s easier to avoid things that might make you feel than to face them."
Too true. Since she’d cast the curse, Madeline never stayed around for anything that forced heavy feels. Moments with Cora that got real sent her scurrying away. A few hours, maybe a day with her aunt, and she left.
Only one thing didn't send her running. Once-a-year she let herself feel. Tomorrow, on the anniversary of her son's death, she could see his ghost. His high-pitched, carefree laugh rejuvenated her spirit.
She reached into her mini-backpack and removed the charred remains of a Hot Wheels toy that had belonged to him. She gripped it tight like a lifeline. One more day.
Cora flipped over the second Tarot card. The Lovers.
"No…no, no. Just no." Madeline shook her head. "Not going there. It’s not like that with him…the lycan."
"Say his name."
She whispered, "Shane. Definitely not like that."
Cora glared over the top of her pink-framed reading glasses and released an unfeminine snort-laugh. "Sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself there’s nothing there. You’re turning beet red at the mere thought of Mr. Fantastic Ass. The card might not be about physical love. It might mean a more general idea like you need to choose love. Love might bring out the best in you. Or…Lordy, girl, I didn’t know you could turn that red. How are the Fool and Lovers related in your mind?"
"I don't know." Madeline tapped the Celtic ring on her right ring finger against the table, the only thing she had left from her father. "He likes me. I might be a fool and like him too. But it doesn't explain this weird phantom pain. Did I cast some sort of accidental spell? Is this a delayed side effect of the curse?"
With a frown, Cora pushed back from the table and removed a yellow crystal pendulum on a chain from the bookshelf that was filled with odds and ends.
Cora walked around her, letting the pendulum swing, and watched it change directions as she moved from one side of her to the other. Suddenly, she stopped, pulled the crystal into her hand, and flipped over the third card as she moved back to her seat. The card was Justice. With a nod, she said, "Interesting."
"Am I being punished for casting the curse?"
Cora held up her palm to silence her. She fumbled through a drawer in her herbal cabinet until she found a gilded four-leaf clover.
After a low chant in Latin she spun the clover on the table in front of Madeline. When it stopped spinning it reversed direction on its own, stopped again, and vibrated.
Cora slammed her fist down on the clover to make it stop. "Something or someone thinks they’re casting karmic justice onto you. There’s a new magical person on the playing field that cast a boomerang spell on you. I think it's forcing you to feel the pain happening to the Lanzo brothers. The magic isn’t of our kind. It’s more basic, more elemental. And I wonder…" She tapped the Lovers card. "Might be someone in love with one of the lycan boys. One of them might’ve gotten mated. Did you know that?"
Her breath caught. Shane mated? The thought hurt a lot more than it should.
"What else have you felt? What other phantom pain or injury have you experienced?"
"Knife wounds, bullets, demon strikes, goblin bites, and torture."
The last had been the worst. Her mind spun at the answer to so many phantom pains.
"Someone wants me to feel what they go through?" She glanced down at her side, wondering if this was from Shane. It made her eyes bleary to even consider something might hurt him this much.
But every injury each of the brothers got was her fault.
"They did this as some sort of punishment. Because I’m evil?" She sank lower in the chair. Guilt had ridden her every single day since she cast the curse.
