Page 96 of Bad Moon Rising
Nova’s gut twisted into all kinds of tangles as she sat next to him in the copilot seat, but didn’t buckle in. The tense line of Roman’s jaw as he focused out the windshield and shoulder blades tenting the back of his shirt where he leaned forward ever so slightly suggested…maybe he didn’t want her up here?
Her heart ached for him. He’d lost weight, and the rough beard on his jaw gave him and unsettled appearance. She hurt for him being so alone and lost before he found her and then again after she died. He needed someone who appreciated him for who he was. No, he had that in his family. He needed someone to show him how to feel happiness.
His demons might have eaten him alive, but he was trying to find a way to break free of them and keep himself whole. She could see it so plainly and how much he needed her to help him get free. She wanted to stick around and hold his hand when he wasn’t seeing clearly. He needed her to protect him, like today.
But she worried about the damage she could do to him by remaining at his side. Like right now.
A few fast blinks helped keep the tears from falling. She wanted to hug him and never let go. She didn’t want to see him so lost and broken.
She said, “We have to talk about it. I didn’t have a choice. I had to force you to let me be the one who died.”
Roman took her hand and kissed the top of her knuckles. “Stop crying. Please. I missed you. A lot. I did some things I’m not proud of after you died.” He dropped his head. “You have no idea what it was like to watch them murder you. I lost my way.”
“I have an idea. I just witnessed you almost die. I have plenty of idea what you felt. Roman, whatever is here is real. We get a second chance. A real chance. I think we need to take it even though there are issues. Before, everything happened so fast.”
“I can’t watch you do that again. Electing to die to keep me alive…” He swung his head back and forth. “I won’t survive.”
“You understand why it had to go that way, don’t you? The curse would’ve killed you unless you fulfilled your mission. I’m sorry I took the decision away from you, but you were going to die. Do you feel the curse eating at you to attack me now that I’m back?”
He shook his head.
She yelled out of the cockpit, “Flynn, do you have the curse pushing you to kill me?”
“No.”
“I had to die.” She tightened her grip on Roman’s lower jaw to force eye contact. “My death was about more than whatever fledgling feelings we had brewing. I did it to save you. To keep you in this world. That angel saving you, liking you, means I made the right choice.”
Death might equal freedom from the curse. Would the angel or an angel bring each of them back after they died? That seemed farfetched. Too much of a gamble. His gut said that wasn’t the right answer to get free of the curse.
She sucked in an uneven breath. “I should go. We should go our separate ways before you take off. I won’t risk hurting you…being the reason you die. We might’ve had something, but it’s not like you bonded with me or anything. You’ll get over it. Right?”
He recoiled. “What?”
She slumped in on herself. “It’s okay if it’s over between us. For us to move on. It has to be.”
“Over? It’s not fuckingokay.Zadkiel brought you back by begging his god to do so for a reason. For me…us.I am bonded with you!”
Momentarily stunned, she stared up at him. “Really? God brought me back?”
“I’m still working through you not being dead in my head. I’m trying to figure out how to handle you alive and us together and all of it in a way to keep you safe.”
She wiped her bleary eyes. “I wish I could stay with you. But my head tells me I need to keep away. I don’t want to be the reason the curse gets angry and you die. If Gerard or your king find out I’m not dead and order you to actually come after me again… I can’t watch you bleed out. You should let me go my own way. Maybe we can work independently to find out more about your brother and communicate through Evie?”
“No.” Roman looked her way. He swallowed hard. His tone evened out. “I’ll go after you. I’ll disobey orders for the rest of my life to go after you.”
“Oh.” Warmth spread through her. “Did the angel say us together was okay?”
“Ultimately, he isn’t a part of this decision, but he did. Do you want to be with me? Cursed and fighting inhuman creatures aside, if my life was regular and calm, would you choose us?”
“Yes.”
“We’re going to work things out.” Louder, he yelled back, “Flynn, call Mom and ask her if we can have a do-over of family night. Actually, a breakfast. A true family sit-down. Food, talking, the whole thing. With you there.”
“Sure,” Flynn yelled back.
Something more was going on, and she hated not knowing what. “Does this have to do with what you talked to the angel about?”
He waited to hear from Flynn.
