Page 89 of Bad Moon Rising
Heat flushed through his body as he ground out to Zadkiel, “You killed Nova. It wasyou.How could you? She was innocent.”
“Was she? Are any of you truly innocent? Not sure that’s a valid argument. It’s not why you’re angry and falling apart.”
He rushed Zadkiel. The angel caught him with a single palm to his chest and pushed until he pinned Roman against a stone column.
The angel leaned in close to rasp out, “Being drunk and perched on the pity pot, isn’t you. You’re so much more important than you think in the grand scheme of things. Yes,you,Roman.”
“I don’t want to do it without…” He added on a barely audible whisper, “Without her.”
“This isn’t a choice. I’m sorry. You have skills that are necessary to do a job no one else can. I’d venture to guess this type of chaos is par for the course, but…” He worked his jaw back and forth. “How many people would’ve known to use that spell?”
“Humans? None. Witches? Maybe a few. I’m pretty sure that phantasm was a witch’s conjuring mistake. Flynn knew the spell. He just needs more practice so he doesn’t freeze up.”
“I don’t want to be responsible for spell casting and the hands-on weird-ass magic stuff,” Flynn said.
“Get off me.”
Zadkiel took a step backward.
“I didn’t ask for these skills or to be able to inherently know spells or for any of this.” Roman glared at him. “Are you…were you Cooper all this time?”
He nodded. “Figured it was an easy way to look in on what you guys were up to and see the ones who were after you.” The angel sheathed his knife. “It was her choice. There was no other way.”
Roman gulped air, feeling like a spear had pierced his chest.
“Your abilities were given to you for a reason.”
“By God? Your god.” It was hard not to hate Zadkiel, but he had been following Nova’s wishes—and the wishes of a higher power. The thought didn’t make it hurt any less. “I’m really not sure how I feel about a deity forcing me into this.”
“There’s no such thing as free will for any of us. There are simply gradations of control you have over your life.”
“Well, that’s a ringing endorsement to keep going in this hell. You think one of thosegradationswas that I could’ve decided for Nova not to die? Instead, I could’ve been the one to go?”
Zadkiel dropped his head and shook it. “She was slated to die. I’m sorry. You and she connecting…that was unexpected. Pull yourself together and go back to doing what you do. Do it the right way, not drunk. I’d almost figured out who was selling you out to the A.W.L. and who set you up to die at that place in Belgium, but I had to get out after that Nova thing. Kind of blew my cover when that other guy…I might’ve punished him.”
Roman huffed. The other guy getting disciplined wasn’t enough. It didn’t heal the hole in his chest.
“You have to figure out who’s breeding lycans, and if there are other countries that have already acquired their own personal lycan soldiers. This has to be done while you still work for the ones you’re cursed to answer to.”
“The king is a self-centered jerk.” He hissed and rubbed the burn around his wrist. Then held it up as if talking into it like a phone. “He is, so piss off.” He glanced up to find Zadkiel’s eyebrows drawn inward. “So I talk to it like it’s a parasite? It is. You like us because we make your job easier, but I’m done with this. Even the drive to do it because it’s the right thing isn’t enough anymore.”
“She died so you could live. She recognized your significance in the world. Now you honor her memory by turning into this disaster who’s going to get himself killed?”
“If I have no free will, and the higher-ups have plans for me, then apparently I’m not going to die no matter what I do. Am I able to die?”
“You’re a real pain sometimes.” Zadkiel pinched his nose. “Keep behaving like this, and I think they might decide you’re not worth keeping around.” In a blink, the angel disappeared.
Roman whirled around. “I hate it when he does that.”
“We have to get out of here before the service upstairs lets out.” He waved around him. “Do we have to clean up?”
“Screw it. They can assume grave robbers happened or something.”
When Roman didn’t move to leave, Flynn hauled him up the stairs and out the side door.
“Let me go. I’m going to find a pub. Drink until I can’t remember.”
Flynn stepped in front of him. “Not tonight. We’re going to Mykonos for our full-moon pickup. In…” He rotated his watch. “Eight hours. One of those hours will include a shower for you. I think it’ll be me doing the flying today, which is scary as hell.”
