Page 86 of Don't Game Me
She rearranged the hair around his face and smoothed her hands along his cheeks. “This isn’t nothing. There’s some sort of big something here. Tell me what happened to you.”
He dropped his head. The words tumbled out. “My father… He came home many nights drunk and angry, sometimes high. Always angry.”
This had to be the drug. He didn’t talk about this shit. This was in the past. Over. Done. And buried. Not something he thought about. Not something that impacted his life anymore.
“No kid should have to live through that.” She hugged him, squeezing so tight he suspected if she could crawl inside him, she would’ve. Moisture from her tears wet his shirt. “Why didn’t he go to jail?”
“Mom was too scared to ever press charges, and in her twisted way, she loved him.” He whispered, “If I ever became like that…when it happens…”
She pulled back. “It’ll never happen. Never. Look at me.” She tugged his face to meet her tear-streaked gaze. “You’re a protector. Aprotector. You don’t hurt people. You defend them. Like you’re trying to do for me right now. You’ll be so overprotective as a parent that you’ll make the term helicopter parent seem pathetic. Stop being afraid you’ll turn into the monster in your past. That’snotyou.” She stood on tiptoes and pressed her mouth to his in a soft kiss. Then she placed her hand over his chest. “Give yourself permission to love. It doesn’t have to be with me, because we’re complicated as hell, but with someone. You aren’t dangerous.”
“I was such a coward. I could’ve stood up to my father earlier than I did…high school.”
“You were a kid. You didn’t cause him to be that way or to hurt you. Your mom should’ve been the one to leave or do something to get you out of that situation.” She gazed deep into his eyes.
Years of weight lifted from his shoulders. Her words were more magical, more healing, than thousands of dollars in therapy. She might be right. “How’d you get to be so smart?”
“I’ve got more college degrees than you, remember?”
He managed a wry smile. “That’s not exactly true. I have three honorary degrees achieved in the past few years.”
“I actually graduated from undergrad. That makes me smarter. Sorry about the parent comment. That probably scared you a bit.” She granted him a goofy smile.
“I’ve never considered kids as a part of my big picture. I’m not good with them.”
“All you do is make games and things to go with the games. Toys. You’ll be a fun dad. You already have some great toys at home.” She smiled impishly. “I’d love to get my hands on one of those action figures and the Millennium Falcon for about an hour.”
Sternly, he said, “Those are not toys. Especially my ships.”
A laugh rolled out of her, which sounded good to him. “Let’s go to your place, Jake.”
“No touching my collectibles. They’re off limits. House rules.”
Her humor dissolved. “I’ll sleep on the sofa, so this doesn’t get weird. It’s just for tonight. I can bunk with Emma or someone else tomorrow.”
“Let’s get you out of here.” He pressed the elevator button again.
“What about Lisi? And Quan?”
He checked his phone, seeing a few messages. “Michael went to find Quan. He can figure it out. You’re done with everything for today. If you feel as lousy as I do after whatever the hell she shot us up with, then we both need to sleep it off.”
“Sleep sounds good.” The way she moved down the hallway, stiff and eyes glazed, said she wasn’t as all right as she claimed.
Jake’s phone rang. He answered before the elevator doors closed, “I got her, Michael. She’s coming with me. She’s fine.”
He tilted her chin to force her eyes to meet his gaze before they stepped outside. “You’re okay now. We’ll figure out everything tomorrow when we can think straight.”
She nodded and gave him a brave half-smile, which broke his heart.
28
“Want something to drink?” Jake asked, guiding her to the kitchen in his apartment.
“Water’s fine.”
He handed her a bottled water from the refrigerator.
She gazed at him while she sipped. His expression remained closed, unlike a half hour ago when he spoke of the past.
