Page 108 of Faux Real
“That’s good, I’m glad you’re uh—figuring stuff out,” I cut him off. Bulletproof. I am bulletproof. I am. I have to be. I’m one degree away from a total shutdown. I can’t handle more heartache. More drama. More anything. “But that doesn’t change anything. I can’t trust you, Oliver. Not anymore.”
“And that’s valid,” he breathes, jaw locking. “But trust can be earned back. I will earn it back, believe me.”
“Just let it go, Oliver,” I whisper. “It’s done. Whatever we had, it’s over, okay? Plus, it’s not like we had anything in the first place, right?”
“Wrong. We had everything,” he says immediately, tone unwavering. “We just didn’t have a label.”
My eyes harden. “And yet you still kissed someone else. What does that tell you?”
He winces as if experiencing actual pain. “That I am not perfect, that I make mistakes, that I’m not—”
“I neverneededyou to beperfect, Ollie,” I say. “I just needed you to be real.”
“Iamreal,” he states. “I’m real and you’re real and what we feel for each other is real. It’s real Kennedy, it’s more real than anything I’ve ever felt.Ever.” He pauses, adding softly, “Maybeyouneed to be real, maybeyouneed to be honest withyourself. Because I know you, and the words coming out of your mouth are not yours, they’re not the real you. They’re laced with fear. I can hear it... Can’t you?”
My nose tickles as my eyes begin to water. “Fear is a natural reaction todanger, Oliver,” I state, digging my nails into my palms. “It’s a way for our bodies and minds to communicate when survival is at stake. So if I’mscared, or I soundfearfulto you, it’s because my intuition is telling me that I’m in danger, and I would be a fucking idiot not to listen to that instinct.” I take a deep breath. “I think this conversation is over now. I’m late.”
“Kennedy, just—” Oliver reaches for my arm again as I turn around.
“Maybe it’s time to cut your losses, Knight,” Sawyer’s voice slices the charged air. “Doesn’t seem like she wants to talk to you anymore.”
Oliver drops my hand, spinning toward Sawyer. “This hasn’t got anything to do with you, Redford.”
I close my eyes, my head starting to pound. Drama. Always. It’s exhausting.
“Well, since KC is one of my oldest friends, and I care about her,” Sawyer says, strutting over and giving me a concerned once-over. “I think it does have to do with me. You good?”
“I’m fine,” I say, irritation flaring. “Justtryingto get to the homeroom.”
“I’ll walk you,” Sawyer offers, tossing daggers at Oliver. “Heading that way too.”
“Whatever,” I mutter. A wave of total defeat washes over me when I hear the clicking of heels in the distance.
Oh, my God. I can’t do this.
“Hey, babe,” Corrine chirps suspiciously as she joins the semicircle from hell. She crosses her arms, surveying all our exhausted expressions. “What’s going on here?” She pouts at me. “Hosting Kenny a little pity party?” She glances at Oliver. “Shame on you for breaking her sweet little heart, badbadboy.” She taps her finger against her lips. “But at least we know she has one, so I guess there’s an upside.”
In the corner of my eye, I see Oliver ball up his fists. I’m doing the same.
“Corrine, stop,” Sawyer says tersely. “Why do youdothat?”
“Do what, babe?” she asks, leaning on his shoulder. Sawyer moves away. “What? I was just kidding. God, you’re so sensitive.” Sawyer doesn’t say a word which makes Corrine add with a fake smile. “Sorry, okay? Just trying to lighten the mood or whatever. I’m not the one who cheated on Kenny.”
“Corrine!” Sawyer snaps. “What the fuck?”
Corrine scoffs. “Oh, I’m sorry, am I wrong?” She looks at Oliver. “Youdidcheat on Kennedy, didn’t you? I don’t know whyI’mthe bad guy here.Ididn’t do anything.”
Oliver stays silent. Like me. Again. There are no words. There is nothing to say. I should leave but I’m frozen, stuck between three people who, at one point, were lights in my life. And now, all three of them are reminders that light never lasts. It gets dark eventually. Always. Like clockwork.
“I made a mistake,” Oliver finally says, looking only at me. “The worst mistake of my life.”
“Ugh, so dramatic,” Corrine yawns, tugging on Sawyer’s arm. “Let’s skip next period, I need to buy a dress for Lemar’s party next weekend.”
“Can’t,” Sawyer says, shrugging her off. “Got a presentation.”
“But I need a ride,” Corrine whines. “Please?”
“Here—” Sawyer reaches into his pocket and hands her his car keys. “All yours.”
