Page 74 of The Santa Rules
“Yeah. It’s a little weird to just tape a bag of money to a soda machine, so I print out little cards with fun sayings andexplain what a RACK is and encourage people to pay it forward and post on social media.”
The kids climb back in the car, and Isaac suggests we park so we can go shop for items to donate. Then we head into the store and grab items for a local food pantry, winter hats and gloves to donate, and a few toys to drop off.
I don’t think I’ve ever had this much fun shopping before, and Avery doesn’t even complain in the store once. At checkout, we end up paying for the people behind us and then pile back in my truck as Isaac directs us to a local church that has a mini food pantry outside of it.
He and Avery climb out and fill up the little cabinet and then we head over to a park with a little lending library. Isaac pulls a couple of books out of his bag and turns to Avery.
“Hey, Butterfly, did you know that Santa has a secret program?”
“No, he doesn’t.”
“It’s true,” he insists. “Anyone that donates their old toys or books gets extra checks by their name on the nice list, and that means he brings you extra presents.”
“Is that true, Daddy?”
I nod my head in agreement. “It’s true. It’s one of Santa’s rules. But it only counts if you do it to help others. If you do it just to get more gifts, Santa will know, and it won’t count.”
Her eyes light up, and she digs around in the seat pocket in front of her, squealing when she finds a book. She runs out of the truck after Isaac, and they put their books in the little lending library.
Bella turns to me. “That was quick thinking. See, you’re not as terrible at the Santa stuff as you thought.” When she winks at me, it goes straight to my heart, making it race in anticipation.
We make several more stops handing out gift cards, waving at people we see at stop lights, and spreading kindness and Christmas cheer.
Despite it being a long day full of activities, Avery doesn’t complain once. In fact, each time we finish a RACK, she’s asked what we can do next, even making suggestions like picking up trash, which is how we ended up at the school, collecting litter from the grounds.
Isaac and Avery run up ahead, and I laugh at the way he challenges her to a contest to see who can pick up more trash, then falls behind to let her get a head start.
Bella walks up next to me, her arm linked through mine, and rests her head on my bicep as we watch them.
“You and Isaac do this every year?”
“Yup. Like I said, we used to do one RACK a day as a countdown to Christmas, but Jake never wanted to help so it was up to me to make it happen. And we did for a while, but the divorce made it hard because I didn’t get to see him every day. Eventually we decided to cram as many into a single day as we could.”
I’m in awe of her tenacity. Most people would fold under the stress of what Bella’s endured, but she’s turned every obstacle meant to dull her blade into an opportunity to sharpen herself into the woman she is before me. A tiny little ball of Christmas joy and cheer.
“I wish I could see life and people the way you do, but I’ve seen so many shitty things in this world that it’s hard to find the good. How do you do it? How do you believe in people when they let you down? How do you find the good?”
“How? I take one bite of the cookie at a time instead of cramming the whole thing in my mouth and ending up with a bellyache. One bite. One day at a time. Because I need to believe there’s good in people. To believe in something bigger than me.”
She pulls back, stopping me in my tracks, forcing me to hear her words.
“You’re right that there’s so much shit in this world, but I choose to believe that there’s more good than bad. And that’swhat Santa represents. It’s goodness and light, people coming together as a whole for a greater purpose, to spread joy and love at Christmas. It’s this unspoken understanding that everyone adheres to—well, unless you’re an asshole. If a kid mentions Santa in front of anyone, that person immediately plays along, no matter what the kid says. If the kid says they don’t believe you, you try to convince them. If you talk about Santa as an adult, you always look around to check for little ears first. These are things we all do—no one teaches us this, we just do it. That’s how I know people are good. Because their base instinct is to protect the magic of Santa. That’s what I love about it. That’s why I believe in Santa. I choose to see the good in everyone. Even grumpy firemen.”
I grin down at her like a stupid, lovesick fool. “I think you were always supposed to be part of our lives.”
“It definitely feels that way. And I’m not complaining.” She looks up at me as she grabs my gloved hands in hers.
We stand there, eyes locked for several beats, and I decide that if I want to have more days like this with her, I need to make it clear how I feel, especially after her earlier suggestion that Avery and I do this alone next year. If only we didn’t get interrupted last night, I was so close to telling her then.
I blow out a deep exhale and push down my nerves, push down the doubt, push down the guilt, and decide that it’s now or never.
“Remember that day you told me how you looked up your students’ names to come up with their elf name?” I ask as her brow knits in confusion. “Well, I looked up what your name meant too.”
“You did?” She sounds surprised by my admission.
“I did, and it couldn’t be more accurate. Your name means pure heart, and you, by far, have the purest heart of anyone I’ve ever met. You love with your whole heart, your whole mind, and your whole soul. I’ve never met another person like you, and I don’t think I ever will.”
“So, I shouldn’t ruin this moment with a dick joke?”
