Page 7 of The Santa Rules
I wish I’d been around more to help Lydie with this stuff.
I should’ve paid more attention to all these traditions.
How can I fix this for Avery?
Is there anyone who could teach me how to be better at this?
Even though therapy has helped me process my grief and be the best version of myself for Avery, I still feel like I’m not doing enough. Do all parents feel this way?
I lie in the darkness and let my anxiety torture me until sleep takes over.
CHAPTER 3
BELLA
“Oh my God, it was so embarrassing! My tit was out the whole time!” I take a swig of my water and cringe as three sets of eyes narrow in on me.
“Like the whole thing? Are we talking heavy cleavage, or did it include areola and nipple?” Raven asks matter-of-factly. She’s always been the pragmatic one of the group.
“The whole fucking titty,” I answer, hanging my head.
“That’s mortifying. I would be mortified. Were you mortified?” Summer asks.
I shoot her a what-do-you-think look.
“Hold on, I need more information to get a clear picture about what we’re talking about. Why was it flopping out of your shirt? Where was your bra?” Raven asks.
“Umm, how about ‘are you okay and why did you need an ambulance?’” Lucy asks.
“Clearly, she’s okay. She’s here.” Raven points at me as if this is obvious.
“Not emotionally. She clearly needs to talk about it,” Lucy says, placing a hand on my forearm.
“I do. And to answer your question, I was hooking up withthis guy and he’d already gotten my bra off and my shirt was low-cut, so when I passed out, gravity took over.”
“You passed out?” Summer gasps.
“Yup. I’ve had some awkward hookups before, but this one wins the title for the worst. Between the passing out, almost tossing cookies in front of the hot EMT, and the accidental flashing, it was an eventful evening, and I didn’t even get an orgasm out of it. Just a stupid bladder infection probably caused by my new birth control.”
“But you’re okay now?” Lucy asks, and I nod. “Okay good, now tell me more about the hot paramedic.”
Summer keeps glancing at the door. “I don’t mean to be that person, but we have, like, fifteen minutes before the rest of the moms get here for the PTO meeting, and you know that Amber is always early.”
Shit, she’s right. “Good point. So, I’m in the back of the ambulance and the EMT is super hot, and I had to ask him to put my tit back in my shirt.”
“Can we stop saying ‘tit’? It feels wrong saying it in a room where kindergartners hang out all day,” Summer says as she shifts in the too small chair.
It’s my turn to host the November Parent Teacher Organization meeting, and my classroom is where we’re meeting tonight, despite the fact that there are other classrooms with adult-sized chairs.
I continue recapping the events. “So, he covered up mybreastand then called me agood girl.”
“Umm, that’s kind of weird,” Raven says.
“Oh shit, I forgot to say that between the redressing and the praising, he had to put an IV in and I started to panic. I swear he made bedroom eyes at me and then hegood-girledme to calm me down.”
Lucy leans back in her tiny chair. “That’s hot.”
“What are bedroom eyes?” Raven asks.
