Page 25 of The Santa Rules
I shoot Hardy a did-he-just-hear-us look and turn to my son. My sweet angel baby son who I will absolutely not picture doing unthinkable things to his body. Not that masturbation is wrong, but it’s just not what you ever want to think about in the context of your child.
My body shudders involuntarily.
“Hello! Did you not hear a word I said?”
Hardy jumps in before I can look at him.
“Sorry, she just got some disheartening news, she just needs a minute,” he says with a small chuckle he cannot contain.
“Whatever. Grown-ups are weird.”
I tamp down the nausea and let out a deep breath. “What is it?”
“They have an Alienware computer. Is it okay if I get on?”
It’s not clear if he’s asking me or Hardy, and we look at each other and shrug.
“You’re not playing those shooter games,” I warn.
“Actually, Avery and I are going to code a game fromscratch. I thought it’d be cool and would keep her occupied if you two are going to…”
He starts to trail off, and I jump in, interrupting him. “Work on a project.”
“Is that what old people are calling it these days?”
I look at Hardy and offer him an apologetic smile, but he just stuffs his hands in his pockets, enjoying the show.
“I’m just messing with you, Mom. I was going to say I could keep her occupied if you two were going to talk about S-A-N-T-A stuff.”
“That makes more sense. Yup. That would be great. Thank you, Isaac.”
Once the kids are set up on the computer upstairs, Hardy clears a space at the kitchen table, and we get to work.
I pull out my newly organized binder and start flipping through pages.
“What made you come up with The Santa Rules?” Hardy asks, breaking the silence.
“My ex was never good at communication, and we weren’t on the same page about a lot of things—still aren’t. It kinda started as a way to cover for his lies about Santa. He could never keep things straight. And I wanted Isaac to believe. So I would explain it away as a new Santa Rule.”
“And he bought it?”
“For a while. He was ten when he asked if I was Santa.”
“What did you tell him?”
“That Santa isn’t your parents. It isn’t any one person. It’s an idea, a belief in something more. It’s joy and hope. And love. It’s karma and believing in the greater good. It’s doing things for others because you want to and not out of obligation. And I think that’s important for kids to learn. Once they find out the truth about Santa, they get to become a Santa, and then they’re part of keeping the magic alive for other kids.”
We’re fifteen minutes from our pizza delivery when an idea hits me.
“What if we ask for donations of used toys and home goods? That way we don’t have to spend any money on inventory since Amber’s budget is laughable. We could always say it’s part of Santa’s giveback toy refurbishment program.”
“The Santa Rules,” he says knowingly.
“Exactly! Then people can double donate, so even those that don’t have money can donate items. And instead of keeping the leftovers, we can have a designated time for the kids whose parents didn’t send in money to shop. Then everyone can participate. People can clear out their closets and their wallets!”
“That’s actually a really good idea.”
“And if any of the kids ask where the toys came from, we use The Santa Rules and tell them that they were donated by kids like them and Santa’s elves fixed them up and brought them to us so we could help others. Then it encourages those kids to donate this year for next year.”
