Page 83 of You, Me, & Après-Ski
Nolan had the decency to look abashed as he sat on the couch beside Cressida. His normally perfect hair was shooting off in all directions as if he’d run his hands through it repeatedly, and his tie hung loosely about his neck.
“How did you find out?” he asked.
“Anton. I made a deal with him to get the tabloids off our backs by distracting them with a very public, very fake relationship. And in return, he wanted me to convince you to sell the resort to him instead of the rock quarry.”
I watched as a multitude of expressions flitted across his face. Guilt. Horror. Agony. And then resignation.
“I should have told you,” he said finally.
“You’ve been lying to me for months.” My hands quaked at my sides and I clenched them into fists as I grappled with the truth.
At that, Cressida shot him an accusing look. A look that saidI told you so.
“Oh, perfect, so you could talk to Cressida about it but not me?”
“The details of the sale are confidential. But that’s no excuse. I shouldn’t have let you believe a lie. It was selfish, and I’m sorry.”
“What am I supposed to do with an apology?” I said, clutching at my chest as if that could hold my breaking heart together. “You’ve done nothing but lie to me ever since you set foot on the property. Your whole relationship with Cressida was a lie. You’ve been leading me on this entire time just to appease your grandfather. And hell, you probably used me to get out of this engagement you never wanted.”
I turned toward the door, but Nolan was out of his seat, planting a palm on the wall and barring my escape. “Please let me explain.”
But I couldn’t handle hearing him say how he cared for me, while in the same breath admitting he lied about everything. “You know how much this place means to me, and you let me think that you cared about it too. You allowed me to go about the charade of believing I had a chance to convince Keller Resorts to agree to massive renovations. But your mind was already made up. How could you do that? Ilet you in.”
Because this was about so much more than him lying about the sale. I’d put my trust in him and let him see parts of me that I’d never laid bare for anyone else. “I did things with you, said things to you,felt thingsfor you that I’ve never given to anyone else,” I said. “But I should have known that something like this would happen. A secret relationship with an engaged man could never have a happy ending. We were always destined for disaster, but I’d thought the threats would come from the media or your family. I never expected it fromyou.”
“You’re right,” he said, ducking his head. “I made a bad choice and I regret it. I thought you’d hate me if you knew of my plan to sell, but I should have known that you’d hate me more for lying about it.”
“I could never hate you, youidiot.” My frustration, anger, and embarrassment were hardwired to my tear ducts, but for once, the tell-taleburn of tears didn’t prick at my eyes. Because all I felt was the bitter pang of disappointment. Disappointment, and heartbreak. Because at that moment, the bare truth of it all stared me in the face.Goddamn it.I’d gone and fallen for the man. Had been falling for him for weeks now. I’d given him my heart and didn’t even realize it until it was breaking right in front of me.
His eyes were twin pools of anguish, reflecting my own feelings back at me. “Valeria, please forgive me. I lov—”
“Don’t.” I held up a hand.Oh god. No no no.“Donotsay it.” I ducked under his arm and lunged for the doorknob, willing the tears to stay locked behind my eyes. “Go back to San Francisco, Nolan. You’ve done enough here.”
Chapter 31
NOLAN - ONE MONTH LATER
BackinSanFrancisco,I sat in the private wine cellar dining room of the restaurant my family owned in Fisherman’s Wharf. I needed privacy for what I was about to do. Privacy, with the illusion of it being a public place for my invitees.
I sipped on my glass of scotch and waited.
The liquor kept thoughts of Val from intruding too much, but in the month since I’d left Hale’s Peak, she sprinted through my head at all hours. Seeing tabloid pictures of her and Anton, blissful and huddled close together, felt like hot needles shoved under my fingernails. Even after everything, she still went through with her plan. And it had worked brilliantly. The rumor mill was squarely focused on their fling, giving Cressida and I the opportunity to quietly decouple in the background. By the end of the year, we’d release a joint statement about our breakup. Things were working out well.
But I was an idiot.
An idiot, and a moron, and I had brought this on myself. And it had taken losing Val for me to see it all clearly.
I’d had so many opportunities to tell Val about the sale, but I’d chosen to remain silent. It wasn’t because I didn’t trust her—it was because I didn’t trustmyself.Cressida was right. I’d grown so accustomed topeople chewing me up and spitting me out, discarding me once they’d gotten their quick fuck or whatever else they wanted. It had led to a lifetime of superficial relationships, and I was always waiting to get stabbed in the back.
But then I’d met Val. And ever since, I’d been hiding behind my sense of duty to my mother, my career goals, anything to avoid facing the truth—that I had already fallen for Val, and that I was fucking terrified. I didn’t know how to be in a real relationship with real feelings. I’d never done it before. So to protect myself, I’d created a situation designed to blow up. Lying to her about the sale was my ripcord, my backup plan to sabotage the relationship if somehow, we decided to stay together after the ski season ended. If Val left me because I made her do it, it would be less painful than if I showed her all of me and told her how I really felt, and she rejected me anyway.
Except now that I’d lost her, the whole thing sounded even more stupid.
But I would fix it.
In our month apart, I hadn’t been idle. I’d kept my distance—partially to preserve Val’s cover story and partially because I felt like the scum of the earth—but I was fighting for her, and soon, she’d know it. I hadn’t earned the right to grovel at her feet, but I would. Tonight was the first step in winning her back. And after the board voted in a few days, everything would be set to rights again.
AndthenI’d go get my woman.
