Page 77 of Charlie and Her Sweet Escape
“Little warblers with splints?” He gave me a fond smile that had my stomach swooping.
“I wouldn’t turn it down.” I nudged his shoulder with mine as I clamped my lips down on a smile. “Or a fox that needs to be lovingly spoon-fed back to health.”
“Are you okay with having to eat so much meat?” The majority of our diet was greens and berries, but we were able to supplement with grouse and fish to get enough protein and fat to safely stay out here.
“It’s not my favorite,” I admitted. “I’ll eat chicken at home, and grouse isn’t that much different. I just can’t think too much about how it was just alive. It’s so different to eat something you hunted instead of going to the grocery store and picking up a chicken cutlet from the freezer section.”
“It is. It can be hard, but for me, there’s a level of connection with the animal and nature that fills me with a really specific kind of gratitude.”
“How so?” I loved when Bennett got to talking like this. He usually asked questions and listened but was quiet about himself. The more I was out here, the better I was getting to know him. He had depths he kept hidden for some reason. Perhaps the same reason we all kept good parts of us hidden—it made us vulnerable.
If someone rejected the facade, well, okay. That didn’t hurt so much.
But if someone rejected the real you, that hurt. Greg had rejected the real me in our on-again, off-again relationship. Found me lacking in every way. So I’d shifted and changed and molded myself into someone he wouldn’t reject.
The me who almost married Greg? I didn’t know who she was. Being in the wilderness with Bennett was making that clearer than ever.
Another aggressive gust of wind shook the tarp over our heads, and Bennett’s mouth turned down as he stared at it. “When I’m hunting, I think about the gift of the animal’s life.”
“That’s beautiful.”
He cleared his throat and poked at the fire again. “I’ll keep my eyes out for an injured animal you can rehabilitate,” he said, clearly wanting to change the subject.
“Thank you. I’d appreciate that.” I paused, feeling the tenseness and worry coming from Bennett. Talking about his childhood seemed to put him in this mood. “It’s rainier out here than I expected.”
He pulled his gaze away from the flames. “Yeah. I don’t remember the other seasons being so wet.”
“I guess we could be dealing with the heat of season two.”
He shuddered. “Give me rain and wind any day over that.”
I yawned and rested my head on his shoulder. “At least in the cold, we can add layers. You can only take so much off in the heat.”
“One downside to the cold, I guess,” Bennett said with a dramatic sigh.
I played my words back, and my cheeks grew warm as I buried my face in his arm. “Bennett,” I scolded half-heartedly, my gaze shooting to the cameras.
“What? I can’t say that to my wife?” His arm went around me, and his fingers tickled gently down my arm. I was extra grateful to see him being playful again.
“Yes, but—” I bit off my words before I said something the cameras might pick up. Everything with Bennett felt so charged lately—in an exciting way. But also in a way that scared me. What was real, and what wasn’t? His kisses felt real. His touch sending delicious prickles up and down my arm felt real. The way he looked at me, like he could watch me all day and never grow bored, that felt real.
And the heat in his gaze after he’d helped me wash my hair? I’d been grateful for the icy cold water dripping down my back to keep my feet firmly planted in reality.
Bennett rested his chin on my head.
“What about you?” I asked him. “Is this what you expected?”
He was silent as he pondered the question. I loved that about Bennett—the way he was thoughtful about everything. He didn’t rush to fill silence with the sound of his own voice and half-cocked thoughts. Instead, he let the ripples of my questions settle around him before he answered. Like they were worth thinking about—and that I was worth answering.
“No.” His fingers stopped dancing along my arm and now brushed through my hair, continuing down my spine as he scratched my back until I could almost fall asleep. “I didn’t expect this at all.”
The way he said it made me lift my head to look at him. At the weight in his expression. At all the unanswered questions between the two of us.
He studied my face, leaned close, and then kissed me on the forehead, leaving his lips pressed to my skin. I closed my eyes at surge of emotion rising in me. I was not going to cry just because Bennett was being tender.
Bennett pulled back, and I thought he might kiss me. Maybe this time, I’d let it happen. Let the waves of Bennett consume me, drag me under, never let me go.
My heart raced, and I braced myself. I could do this. I could trust Bennett. He’d never hurt me, not knowingly.
