Page 66 of Charlie and Her Sweet Escape
What ifhewas the one easing away frommewhen I didn’t wake up first? Bennett might be up for a good cuddle now and then, but what I was doing was antagonist territory.I’ve got you in my clutches; I will suffocate you with my need.
Spiraling anxiety did a good job of keeping me awake, at least.
That, and the cold turning my nose into a dripping ice cube.
I lay on my side, a rock digging into my arm, but I didn’t dare move. Something shuffled outside, and I listened, imagining a bear or a wolverine. There were supposed to be several predators in this area, and we’d spotted some signs that they’d been coming around at night. Fear bought me a few more minutes of being awake.
Hours passed, and every muscle ached as I fought sleep.
I would not fall asleep.
I cannot fall…
Iwoke up to darkness.
Bennett’s taut stomach moved in a steady rhythm beneath my palm, and my head rested in the cove of his shoulder and neck. The tender skin below his ear grazed my lips every time he inhaled, and when he exhaled, my body pressed even more flush with his.
His arm was locked securely around my waist with his hand resting on my hip. Bennett’s embrace felt safe and comfortable, just like his townhouse did. Which made sense, since it wasn’t the place creating the feeling; it was the person living there who did.
He was still in a deep sleep, so I closed my eyes. I could allow another minute of sleepy contentment.
The songbirds had already begun their morning chirps in the distance. The steady lap of the lake onto the shore and the rustle of the leaves in the trees surrounding us added to the promise of a beautiful day. Bennett and I could sit for hours in the quiet and let the sounds of nature be a soundtrack to our experience.
Would Greg have been able to appreciate it too?
No. He might have been able to tolerate it—his competitive nature would have demanded it—but he wouldn’t have found simple joy in just existing.
Bennett sighed in his sleep and shifted so that his chin rested on the top of my head. He pulled me deeper into the cocoon of his embrace.
I settled into him for one more breath, then a second. But it was time to extricate myself.
I lifted my leg from his first and then my arm, but when I went to swiftly roll away in the same move I’d been doing all week, his hold on me tightened.
“Hey, where are you going?” he said, his voice thick with sleep.
I was glad for the darkness that kept my flushed-with-mortification skin from his sight. “Giving you room,” I whispered back.
“Get back over here.” He tugged me by the hip until my leg was wrapped over his, my inner thigh pressed to his relaxed quad, and my hand dangling down by his ribs. He gave a contented sigh, and his breathing turned to the deep and steady cadence of someone who was fast asleep.
My heart beat all the way through my ears, making it hard to hear any of those peaceful noises I’d been appreciating earlier. Instead, all my senses were attuned to Bennett’s hand resting on the back of my leg as if holding it in place.
What consumed me, though, was the undeniable sense of belonging I felt while wrapped up in Bennett. He probably hasn’t been fully awake when he’d pulled me close, and he’d likely not remember this in the morning.
But I’d never forget.
27
CHARLIE
Bennett Forrester picked me up from UA’s campus today. It was just the two of us in his truck. It smells like him… clean and salty at the same time. I can’t describe it, but I could literally live in it. Rosie wasn’t feeling well, so she went home early, and didn’t want to leave me stranded. We talked the entire time about the softball team, and he convinced me to join. It was really easy to talk to Bennett. I even called him “Ben” when I said goodbye, like we’re real friends. And he called me “Chuck,” which is better than kiddo AND Nachonator.
—from the journal of 18-year-old Charlie Savage
Istoked the fire and put a pan of water on to boil. It had been another long blend of days of fishing without success, but we still had dried rabbit we were eating this evening, along with berries. I’d dried some into fruit leather, but those would disappear once the weather turned.
I inhaled the scent of the crackling pine smoke and rested on my heels as I watched the flames lick the sides of the pan. This was what peace felt like. Take away the cameras and the stress about if we were doing enough to get screen time and win and the never-ending growling of my stomach, and I was left with feeling like my very essence was as calm as a perfectly still lake.
I was so lost in my thoughts I didn’t hear Bennett’s footsteps behind me, until I felt his cool lips brush my hot cheek. “Hey, baby.”
