Page 76 of A Little Bit Reckless
“You see how toxic he and your other friends are?”
I blocked out the voice, borderline in tears. I sniffed them back. “My personal life is none of your business.”
“Bow.” Bru stood up because I did. He reached for me, but I backed up like he had the plague.
Wells stood up. Two large, all-encompassing men surrounded me, and I actually thought they wanted me. That they brought me out here to talk, talk about us.
I was an idiot, a fool in so many ways, but when I moved toward the door, both guys came with me. They only had to take a few steps since my strides were small. I knuckled my hands. “Move.”
Wells was in front of the door, but Bru wasn’t far away. In fact, Bru was by my side like Wells’s backup. All this was more of Wells’s manipulation, his control.
“You see how toxic he and your other friends are?”
I attempted to blink back tears, but I couldn’t help them spilling over. Wells moved closer, but he stopped when I winced.
He shook his head. “Squeak?—”
“Stop it. Just stop!” My voice radiated through the room, a squeak in it, a tremor. My jaw clenched. “Just stop, Wells. Please stop…”
He made me hate myself. He did, and I did the wrong thing. I was angry. Betrayed by someone I cared about.
Someone I loved.
Wells used to protect me, but inonemoment, that protection was gone. I hadn’t meant to distract him, but he let go of me when I needed him most. I also had that girl’s death on my hands, and I had to deal with that alone.
He left me.
Wells Ambrose was my friend. He was my first love. He was…
“I wanted to feel like I had some power,” I admitted, cringing. I wiped my eyes. “I wanted to have power over my own life.”
I was so tired of the loneliness. So I made a friend, and I thought that was all he was. Heck, I even thought I wanted it when things went deeper.
I didn’t.
I was crying. I was freaking crying in front of two guys I actually wanted.
My shoulders were shaking, my body quivering. I felt like I was going to collapse into a puddle of my own shame, and I wanted to. I actually felt my knees buckle.
He caught me.
Ocean air surrounded me, and it was deep, potent. The feel of muscular arms followed closely behind the scent, as well as a broad chest when I was pressed up against it.
“Squeak.” The nickname no longer felt like a disconnect from Wells when he hugged me tight. He embraced me so hard against his firm body. “Bow, tell me what happened.”
My tongue felt too big for my mouth, so much shame there.
I buried my face in Wells’s chest. I felt so at home there. So cared about, so safe. I gasped. “I wanted to control something for once. It was my body, and I wanted control over it. I wanted control over my life.”
It was my life, and though the decision to lose my virginity had been my own, it hadn’t felt like it.
“Come back to me, Bow. It’ll be different this time.”
I’d been manipulated, and that was where my shame came from. I did what I did to have control over my own life, but that wasn’t how I felt after it’d been over.
“It’s my life,” I whispered into Wells’s chest. His heart beat quickly, rapid like mine. I hugged him close. “I wanted control over something. Power.”
“You do have power. So much power, Bow,” Wells said and the words surged through my body. He pushed his face into my hair. “You have no idea how much control you have over me.”
