Page 37 of Love Hollow at Last
“Yes,” she said, but it didn’t come out right.“I just don’t really like lightning.”
“I think that’s it for a while,” said Noah, but he was wrong.
Aya tried to speak to distract herself.“It’s just that it reminds me a little bit of that hike senior year,” she managed.“Just, you know, there was lot of lightning that day too.”
“That was insane.You all could have been killed.”
She didn’t tell him she hadn’t wanted to go on the hike and had only signed up because she was so confused after prom night that she needed somewhere to put her emotions.She couldn’t let her parents—or anyone else—find out what had happened.She’d given a sanitized version to her friends, telling them that she and Noah had decided to just be friends.It was less humiliating that way.They didn’t believe her, clearly, but at least it saved her from some of the teasing.And fortunately, so many people had hooked up and broken up on prom night that any speculation was lost in the cloud of gossip that hung around the senior class like a haze of poison gas.
“I’m okay,” she said, trying to convince herself.“I’m safe.”
“If Mr.Mettemeyer had been a teacher, he would have been fired,” Noah went on.“I can’t believe anyone would give a guy like that permission to lead a group hike.He even has a pilot’s license, though I guess that shouldn’t surprise anyone.”
“Please.It really doesn’t help me when you say things like that.”
“You don’t find my anger soothing?”he asked, only half joking.
“No,” she said firmly.“Never, in fact.”
He shifted, and she thought they might separate, but his arms were still around her.“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Something in his tone that made her wonder.“What is it, Noah?”
Another pause followed.“Well, you just seem like you’ve been angry too,” he said.
“Of course I’m angry!”she cried.“I’ve been angry forever, and this week has been a nightmare, honestly.”
“The f-festival?”
“I mean, yes, but not just that.Emi being here as well.”
“I thought you were still best friends.And you’re close with the other gyoza ladies or whatever.”
She giggled in spite of herself.“I think you get that name wrong on purpose.We were the dumpling club.”
“Okay, the dumpling club.I thought the four of you stayed more or less united.”
“Yes.And everyone is worried about me.But nobody lives here or even wants to come back for a visit, so they nominated Emi since she has a break from work for now.And, you know, money.”
“Money is useful sometimes,” said Noah in a tone she couldn’t quite decipher.
“Okay, sure.”She leaned her head back, closing her eyes.“I just wish I had more,” she mumbled.
Noah was silent, and she felt like he was her confessor.Except that, back when she had actually gone to confession, she’d always hated it.She used to invent sins to avoid having to share any of her actual life with Father Norton.At the time, she had reasoned that the penance would be similar, so it was justified.
“I’m happy for Emi,” she said.“Honestly, I am, but it feels like it’s all happened for her.I mean, here we are, ten years out of high school, and she has everything.”
Noah sighed.“Not everything.”
“Everything,” she insisted.“Prestigious degree, dream job, a husband, a house, a car, and now a baby.Check, check, check.”
Noah didn’t say anything.“It’s not too late, though,” he said.“Come on, Aya.Especially not for someone like you.”
She opened her eyes and looked up at his face.“Sure,” she said.“But it could be.I haven’t really moved toward any of those things, and now both my job and my degree are potentially down the drain.And you know, a decade of my life.So that night on the mountain could have been life-changing, but it clearly wasn’t.Not for me.And now I’m just here, an object of pity for my friends.”
“That’s probably the wrong word,” said Noah.
“You don’t pity me?”she asked.Her voice was trembling again.
