Page 70 of The Midnight Book Club
Relief shot through her and she sat back in her chair, limbs feeling like jelly after the tension she’d been holding.Oliver, meanwhile, stared down at the table and then took a sip of his wine, seeming out of his element now they were done discussing edits to her book.Aurelia decided to help him out by setting him back on familiar ground.
“I just read Marie Hanson’s book, the one you edited.”
“Did you?”he asked.
“Yes, James mentioned it, so I picked up a copy.It’s a gorgeous book, Oliver.”
“I’ll tell Marie you think so.She was lovely to work with—I pointed her in a direction and off she flew.”
“You make her sound like a labrador.”
“Fair enough,” he said with a laugh.“I just meant we found a good working rhythm.”
For some reason, Aurelia felt annoyed to think of him ‘finding a rhythm’ with another writer.Another female writer, she admitted to herself.She gave her head a little shake, trying to work loose the thought.
Oliver squinted at her and Aurelia knew she needed to keep the conversation going or risk him asking once again if she was quite alright.
“Do you keep in touch with Marie now that the book is finished?”
“I do.In fact, I’m a regular at hers for bridge,” he said with a hint of a smile.
“Bridge?As in the card game?”Aurelia leftat hersunsaid.
“My granddad taught me how to play, and when Marie found out I knew how… Well, you need a group for bridge, so she and her husband invited me to join.”
Aurelia caught at the word ‘husband’ and felt a wave of humiliation wash over her.She knew only too well that Oliver didn’t want to date her, but she’d still allowed herself to feel jealous thinking he had a romantic relationship with poor Marie Hanson.
“Well, that’s good.I’m glad your authors aren’t keeping you too busy to have fun.I’ll try to do the same, even with my tight deadline,” she added with a self-deprecating smile.
Oliver grew serious, then said, “I tend to get very wrapped up in my work.It’s hard to make time for fun—for dating—when I’m knee-deep in an edit.But I’m ready to find that work-life balance thing everyone keeps talking about, to find someone worth making time for.”
He said this earnestly, looking directly into Aurelia’s eyes in a way that made that tug in her stomach feel slightly uncomfortable.His meaning seemed clear—that he’d like to make time forher—but that couldn’t be right.Hadn’t he told her, a few times now, that he wasn’t interested in her?
“Do you think we could skip dessert tonight?”she asked suddenly.
Oliver sat back, taking in yet another of her rapid mood shifts.
“Working on all of your edits this week has tired me out,” she added with a small smile—the best she could do when she felt so at sea.“Oh, here,” she added, taking the signed contract from her bag and handing it to him.
“We’re going to work together?It’s official, then?”
“It is.”
They left the restaurant and, despite his offer to walk her home, Aurelia insisted she needed the air and was fine on her own.
42
Althoughsheknewshe’dbe tired the next day, Aurelia didn’t bother attempting to nap before midnight that night.She was home by nine thirty and decided to give in to her rushing thoughts and try sorting them out.Sitting on the squishy armchair in her flat, she sipped tea and worked through those thoughts one by one.
Most insistent were her thoughts about Oliver.She was still getting to know him, really, but she couldn’t deny she was attracted to him.No matter how many times she told herself she wasn’t interested, the fluttering sensation that had become a full-on tug every time he flashed one of his best smiles was a sure sign of it.But while he said he was trying to make time in his life for a relationship, that didn’t mean he wanted one with her.And she didn’t have much time for a relationship herself—not when she was working so hard to finish Vronsky’s story.
It wasn’t just that.There was the fact that she hadn’t dated anyone since her mother died.She’d lost two people she’d loved too quickly.Keeping her circle of loved ones small felt safer, better than finding someone new she might love and one day lose.And there was the fact that, as these thoughts were swirling in her head, she was very conscious of each passing minute bringing her closer to midnight and the characters she was about to see.The wordcharactersalone made the impossibility of starting something new with Oliver—with anyone, for that matter—all the more obvious.She’d managed to hide her secret life at the shop from everyone else, but hiding it from a boyfriend would invite the sort of chaos she’d been trying so hard to avoid after losing her mother and Marigold.And, still and always, there was the lingering sadness waiting at the edge of her feelings, threatening to break through.
Working on Vronsky’s story had made her feel as though she could take control of the spinning threads of fate.The idea that she could write him a story that would change his life for the better gave her a purpose, made her feel as though despite everything she’d lost, she could still reach out and hold onto something solid.
As she sat in her living room, Aurelia thought again that something ‘better’ for Vronsky might mean helping him to open up to loving someone new.It wasn’t fair not to share Oliver’s note, and her own belief now, that his sequel wouldn’t be complete without giving him a chance to find love again.Even if she was in no position to move on with her own life, she at least owed Vronsky a choice in his.It would be a difficult conversation but as his friend, as someone who wanted the very best for him, she could help him see that he didn’t have to choose a future without love.
When the clock struck midnight that night, Aurelia was downstairs, standing at her desk as her visitors appeared from their books.She watched Vronsky struggling to smile and greet the others as he fought through the emotions he always brought with him from the end of his novel.After saying her hellos to everyone, Aurelia asked him if they could talk privately, up at the window seat.
