Page 110 of Broken on the Mountain
My chest tightens as I think about signing that napkin at Bear Paw.
"Want to know something?" I pull her a little closer, letting my hands slide down the smooth silk of her dress. "I never wanted to sign that napkin in the first place."
Her eyes widen. "You didn't? Then why did you?"
"Because I already knew." The words catch in my throat, but I force them out. "I knew you were the one for me, Piper. The second you climbed that fire escape in that ridiculous dress… I knew I was in love."
"Then why—"
"Did I signed it anyway?" I swallow hard, my hand tightening on her waist. "So you'd have a reason to come back. So you wouldn't just disappear like everyone else always does."
Understanding floods her face, and her grip on my shoulder softens into something achingly tender.
"I thought if I gave you rules, boundaries, an easy out... maybe you'd keep choosing me. Even if it was just for weekends." My voice cracks. "Even if it was just casual. Because something was better than nothing, and nothing is what I always end up with."
"Chase—"
"I was so scared of losing you that I convinced myself I'd be okay with scraps." I pull her closer, until there's barely any space between us. "I tried to tell myself it was just physical. That we could keep it casual. But you don't do casual, Piper. Neither do I."
"No," she whispers. "We don't."
The music swells, violins and cellos weaving together in something achingly beautiful.
Around us, other couples dance, but they fade into background noise. It's just Piper and me, swaying in the center of this glittering ballroom that neither of us belongs in.
"You're not just anyone to me, Piper," I say, looking into her beautiful eyes. "Not some girl I wanted for a few weekends or... whatever we tried to tell ourselves. From the moment you climbed that fire escape in designer heels, we've always been more."
She laughs, but it's watery with tears. "I was so drunk."
"You were perfect."
"I was a mess."
"You were brave." I spin her gently, then pull her back. "You took a chance on something that scared you. That's the bravest thing I've ever seen."
"Chase." Her voice breaks on my name. "I'm still scared."
"Of what?"
"Of disappointing people. Of making the wrong choice." She blinks rapidly, fighting tears. "I've spent my whole life being who everyone else wanted me to be. And then you showed up and made me want to be... me."
"You've always been you, Piper. You just finally let yourself show it."
"In Stone River, maybe. But here?" She glances around the ballroom, at the glittering crowd, the expensive decorations. "Here, I'm still playing the role."
"Then stop playing." I cup her face with one hand, thumb brushing her cheekbone. "My family left, Piper. And for years, I convinced myself it was because I wasn't worth staying for."
"That's not true."
"I know that now. Because of you." I lean my forehead against hers, our movements slowing until we're barely swaying. "You chose me, Piper."
A tear slips down her cheek. "I did choose you. Idochoose you."
"Then choose yourself, too. Choose the life you want, not the one everyone else expects."
The band continues and I can practically see the wheels turning in her head. The calculations, the fears, the lifetime of conditioning telling her to play it safe.
But then she looks up at me, and her eyes are clear. Determined.
