Page 76 of Bossing My Holiday
BRAXTON
My insides feel like they’re being pummeled. I’m angry. No, I’m fucking furious. For one, I should have expected this. I really should have known. For another, I can’t resent his decision. I don’t have a family, let alone a family like Tristan’s. I’m all too aware of the pressure and obligations he has.
But the thought of losing my best friend, of him moving to another country, guts me.
I don’t have a lot in my life, but I had Tristan. He was the only constant other than my work.
I walk over to Waverly and take the seat beside her, looking at the pretty diamonds Tristan got her. I knew he got her those because he matched them to the pendant I bought her. I take her hand and hold it, and she rests her head on my shoulder.
“Are you mad at me?”
“What?” she laughs out, but the sound is sad. “Why would I be mad?”
“Because I pushed you two together. I pushed for the three of us.”
“No. I’m not mad. I’m sad because I liked the three of us,and the thought of losing it hurts. But he’s probably right. How could it have ever worked in real life?”
Because it could have. Because we both love her. Only I can’t say that.
I never cared all that much about social constructs. About socially defined parameters of what’s right and what’s wrong. I believe if a relationship is consensual and safe, then there is nothing morally objectionable to it.
I also believe infuck anyonewho doesn’t like it because that’s their problem and not mine. I wrap my arm around her and tuck her against me.
“I love you,” she whispers. “I know I haven’t said it back yet, and I’m not saying it now because of him. I’m saying it because it’s true. Because I’ve had a major thing for you for two years and never imagined you could ever feel the same way about me.”
“Oh, Sunshine. There hasn’t been a moment since I laid eyes on you where you weren’t already mine.” I release a breath I didn’t know I was holding, my chest inflating like a balloon. I drag my fingers across her cheek. “But you love him too.”
“Yes. I do. I don’t know how it’s possible to love two men at once, but here I am.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“There’s nothing to say. You and I both know that life doesn’t always go the way we want or plan. Tristan feels he has to do this, and I get it. I do. Three is complicated. It’s messy. It’s frankly taboo. And his family is incredible. I’m not sure if I were him that I’d make a different choice than he is. And as much as I wish it could be reality and fine, I think that was merely a Christmas wish.”
I don’t know how it would have worked out. I just know I wanted it to. I still want it to. It… fits. It works. I’m not in love with Tristan, but I love what we had, and I loved how it felt for the three of us.
“If you had to choose?”
She frowns. “I’d choose both of you.”
“I would too.”
I cup her face and drag it to me, kissing her lips. I don’t know what I can fight for and what I can’t. Tristan is the sort of man who, when he makes up his mind, that’s it. But maybe I can hold out hope. In the spirit of the holiday, maybe I can hold out hope that there’s a way.
I kiss her like I’m trying to change reality, my fingers threading through her hair. Waverly sighs against my mouth, her body soft beneath mine on this expensive sofa as I lay her down, and for a moment, I can almost forget that Tristan isn’t here for this. Almost, but not quite. The ghost of his announcement lingers between us even as I press Waverly deeper into the cushions, my body seeking consolation in the familiar curves of hers.
Waverly’s hand finds my face, her thumb tracing the edge of my jaw with a gentleness that makes something in my chest ache. “Braxton,” she murmurs, just my name, but it holds my world. Understanding. Permission. Invitation. Love.
“I feel stupid that I didn’t expect it,” I admit, my forehead resting against hers. “Sixteen years he’s been beside me. It’ll be strange not to be able to go to his office or go for a morning run with him or catch a Sox game. Fuck, even calling him is going to require planning because of time changes.”
“I know. I’m heartbroken over it too.” She laughs. “Believe it or not, I’m going to miss working for the cantankerous ass.”
I smile then frown, thinking about how much he’s changed this week. How he let down his guard and didn’t carry his shell around with him everywhere. I lean in to kiss her again, deeper this time, trying to anchor myself in the present moment rather than the uncertain future. Her lips taste like tea and strawberries, and underneath that, something uniquely her. Something that has become as necessary to me as oxygen.
My hands find the hem of her dress, my fingers slipping beneath to touch warm skin. She arches slightly, an unconscious movement toward me that sets my blood humming. Her skin is so soft, I can’t get enough of it.
“I love you,” I tell her, because it’s true and because saying it feels like reclaiming something. Tristan may be leaving, but Waverly is staying. Waverly is mine. The thought is both comforting and electric.
“Show me,” she challenges, eyes dark in the soft light, pupils dilated with desire.
