Page 90 of Ruin
An unspoken question behind her hesitation.
I nod slightly as I caress her cheek, and her smile grows. She grabs the band of my sweatpants, and I lift my arse slightly soshe can pull them down until she exposes my cock. She continues to watch my face as she wraps her hand around it. She tentatively strokes up and down, changing pace, as though testing what will get the best reaction from me. I allow my eyes to close slightly, letting myself just enjoy the feel of her hand as it moves. It’s so rare for me to be able to just enjoy the touch of someone else like this, and other than the few times with Declan, I can’t remember the last time I’ve felt completely at peace like this.
I watch through hooded eyes as Lily slides further down the bed and bends to swirl her tongue around the head of my cock. Letting out a breath, I slide my fingers gently back into her hair. Not to guide her movements, but to simply have that further connection to her.
She continues her slow, almost torturous, exploration with her tongue, and I can’t help but groan once she’s finally covers my cock with her mouth. The sound spurs her on, and she grins around my cock as she sets the pace, sliding her tongue along the underside of my shaft.
She grows bolder with each bob of her head, and after another groan is pulled from my throat, I rub my fingers against the back of her head.
“If you want this to go any further, Lil, you’re going to have to stop doing that, or I’m going to be coming down your throat,” I say, giving her the choice.
She pauses, and I can tell she’s considering what she wants to happen. Finally, she comes to her decision and lifts her head.
“I keep waiting for you to take over,” she admits, confusion in her eyes.
I stroke her cheek. “This is about you, baby. Take what you need.”
Her eyes widen at the term of endearment that slips frommy lips, but I don’t regret it. I need her to understand that I’m done fighting this.
“I want you inside me,” she whispers, and I nod.
“There should be a condom in my pocket,” I say, and she reaches into the pocket of my sweatpants that are still sitting at my mid thighs.
She pulls out the square packet, then sits back so I can kick my pants off before I tug her towards me, urging her to straddle my thighs again.
I let her roll the condom on, rubbing my hands up and down her thighs as she does. And once I’m fully sheathed, she lifts her jumper over her head, exposing her naked body beneath.
She looks down at me with eyes so full of trust and wonder that I can’t help but feel like maybe I can be worthy of this woman.
Because all I want to do is worship her.
As I reach to massage her breast, she takes a deep breath before taking hold of my cock and easing herself downwards. And as she slowly rolls her hips and laces her fingers through mine, I finally understand why Imogen had been so emotional with Cam.
This isn’t mindless fucking.
This is making love.
It’s beautiful.
All consuming.
And fucking terrifying.
It takes every ounce of my self control to keep from grabbing her hips. To hold her still and drive my cock upwards. To turn this into something I’m more familiar with.
But I force myself to be vulnerable. To let her have this piece of myself that no one else has ever had before.
Of course I was never going to be able to keep it strictlyphysical with this woman. She’s been my undoing for sixteen years, and, if I’m truly honest with myself, she’s the reason that I’ve not allowed emotional attachments to form with any other partners before now.
Because none of them were her.
She picks up the pace, grinding down as she circles her hips, pressing her clit against my pubic bone to get the perfect amount of friction. Her eyes glaze over, but she continues to watch me as I look up at her in awe.
“You are so fucking beautiful,” I murmur, and she smiles.
“So are you,” she replies, and I sit up, needing to erase the distance between us.
She wraps her arms around my neck, holding me close as she continues to move her hips.
