Page 10 of Ruin
If I didn’t know him better, I’d think he was nervous.
“Thank you,” I murmur, and after another moment of silence, he nods and closes the door behind him.
Sinking down on the bed, I run my hand over the bedspread. I know there’s no coincidence that he’d made sure the room featured my favourite colour, but I don’t know what to make of it. With how things ended between us, I am still having trouble wrapping my head around the concern he’s shown me today.
The phone Daniel handed me earlier vibrates in my pocket, startling me from my musings. I haven’t had a phone in months, and the one I’d had previously had been closely guarded by Joseph, so I’m not used to having one of my own. Pulling it from the pocket of my jeans, I tap the screen to see a message from Daniel.
Daniel
I hope your first time on a plane was everything you hoped, Lil. Try to keep that brother of mine in line, okay? I’ll call you to check in tomorrow.
A small smile tugs at the corners of my mouth, and I close my eyes with a sigh. Maybe they are both right and being here will help me feel less… lost. I can only hope that’s the case, because I am so tired of the person I’ve become. I just don’t know how to get back to the version of myself they both remember. Or if it’s even possible.
4
NOT GOING TO HAPPEN
SEBASTIAN
I rarely havenights where I can’t sleep. While my life is busy, it’s one I’m content with, and things don’t often keep me up at night.
But after I’d shown Lily into the room that my staff had done a very good job of setting up on short notice, I had tossed and turned for hours. Knowing that she was only a few metres away on the other side of the wall.
Other than when Daniel stays here, I never have anyone in my personal space. It is my sanctuary and the one place I have that’s just mine.
The people that live within this building are like family to me, a group of carefully vetted individuals I trust with my life and livelihood. But sometimes I need to retreat from their constant shenanigans. Aside from Connell, who is a stoic individual that avoids drama like the plague, the others can sometimes get a little wrapped up in each others’ business. Something I’m not used to after growing up on the run and then later forced into the foster system.
So having Lily in this space is disconcerting, and it’s stirring up feelings I’ve long kept locked away.
I’d finally fallen asleep somewhere around 2am, but my body runs like clockwork, and I’m wide awake at 6am. Knowing there’s no point in attempting to go back to sleep, I pull on my sweatpants and a shirt before heading down to the gym on the ground floor. Connell is the only other early riser amongst us, and he usually goes for a run first, so I have the space to myself.
When I’d first begun planning the design of this property, I had determined that I wanted it to be a place where those who reside here felt completely at home, with all the amenities that they would need onsite. And that included a state-of-the-art gym.
There are no expectations on any of the sex workers to be a certain size, and each of them takes pride in their appearance. Whether they are curvy or not, they all need to have the stamina to keep up with the physical endurance of the job, and they deserve access to the equipment for that… Hence the gym filled with cardio equipment, weights and even pilates machines, which Annika, in particular, favours.
The only requirement I have of the sex workers is that they present themselves to a standard that reflects the high price tag our clients pay just to enter the doors. Each of sex workers sought me out after they’d attended a club night, asking to work here in their pursuit of sexual freedom and pleasure. I provide them with a very generous salary and the option to live here, and in exchange, they get to live out their fantasies while helping those who pay for the privilege of their company, both parties able to explore their own boundaries in a discreet and safe environment.
While I don’t sleep with the clients, I am often face to face with them, and therefore hold myself to the same standards I require of the sex workers. I work out down here here five days aweek, and run on the bush trails that surround the mansion. I find it helps me deal with the stress of running multiple companies at once.
As I go through my workout routine, the fog of exhaustion finally lifts as the endorphins flow, giving me the energy I need to get through the rest of my busy day.
By the time I return to my suite, Lily has emerged from her room, the lines of fatigue on her face even more pronounced as she sits on my couch with her legs curled beneath her.
“How did you sleep?” I ask as I move towards the small kitchen area.
Each suite is set up like a one-bedroom apartment, with the exception of mine, which has the second room that I usually use as my office. While they each have a place for preparing meals, the property has two large kitchens and we all usually eat main meals in one of those. I prefer to eat breakfast alone, though, needing solitude before entering the fray.
“Fine,” Lily says, continuing with the one-word responses, the same as yesterday.
While I’m not a violent man, I would love nothing more than to take my fists to Joseph right now. I wonder if she will ever return to the bubbly woman I knew before. But then, our complicated relationship may also be a contributing factor to the cautious expression on her face.
I eat my fruit and yoghurt while scrolling on my phone, attempting to read the latest news while glancing towards the couch every few minutes. Lily remains silent throughout, and it’s becoming harder and harder to ignore the shell of a human she’s become. When I return from the shower to find her in the exact same spot, staring into space, I decide enough is enough.
“Lily, I want you to shower and come meet me downstairs once you’re done,” I tell her, and she meets my gaze with wide eyes.
“I don’t-”
“No, Daniel might have been okay to let you hide away, but that’s not going to happen here. You are safe, and the people who live here will want nothing more than to befriend you. If you’re not downstairs in forty minutes, I will carry you down to my office over my shoulder in your pyjamas if I have to.” I don’t give her a chance to respond, simply turning and striding out the door, calling back over my shoulder, “It’s on the first floor, sixth door on the right.”
