Page 77 of Ruin
His jaw tenses as those piercing blue eyes bore into mine. “You know exactly what you’re asking, Lily.”
“To fuck me! Just like you fuck Imogen and the rest of them.To help me find what I enjoy. I never asked for something I knew you couldn’t give.”
His gaze remains intense. “Ican’t. Not with you.”
“Why?”
His grip tightens further as his eyes scan my face. “Because if I let you in… If I let myself feel… I don’t deserve someone like you, Lily.” His pleading expression is so at odds with the way he’s gripping my hair.
Like he’s fighting an internal battle and is just praying I’ll be the one to walk away.
I reach up to grip his shirt in my fist. “You are a good man, Sebastian DeLuca. And I’m not the damsel in distress you think I am.” I take a deep breath, preparing myself to be as vulnerable as I can in order for him to finally see sense. “Do you want to know what I see when I see you? I see a man who sacrifices his own needs daily, putting everyone else’s needs above his own. For his employees, for his younger brother. You went back to a man who you knew was abusive in order to secure a future for Daniel. You could have fallen into that world and left him to survive on his own. But you didn’t. You took control of the situation and turned it into something amazing. Because at your very core, you are a protector.”
“You have only had a glimpse of my life, Lily,” he replies, shaking his head.
“And have I turned away? Have I judged you? No. The only person who is judging your lifestyle is you. The people you surround yourself with all respect you. They allcareabout you. They are grateful for the world you’ve built here within these walls that allows them to be their true selves. So why is it good enough for them, but not me?”
I release his shirt and pull away from him, taking a few steps back to create some distance between our bodies. He remains where he is, his expression once again unreadable.
Studying his face for a moment, I’m hit with a wave of utter exhaustion from the raw emotion I have just allowed to pour out of me after years of keeping it in.
I run a hand through my hair as all the fight drains from me. “I just… I need you to understand that is who I see when I look at you. I don’t see some sort of sex-crazed fiend. I don’t see ‘Sebastian, master of control’. I don’t see the owner of Dark Desires. I seeyou.”
When he still doesn’t answer, I turn back towards the door, unable to find any more words to give him.
A hand grabs my elbow, and he wrenches me back to face him. I barely have a chance to take a breath before his mouth claims mine in a kiss so all consuming, I lose all ability to think.
He erases all space between our bodies, lifting me off my feet like I weigh nothing. Instinctively, I wrap my legs around him, and his fingers dig into my hips as he pushes me back against the closed office door.
There’s no sign of the master of control right now.
This kiss is different to the one we shared that first night. The only other kiss we’ve shared this week, despite everything else that has happened. That one was dominant and possessing.
This kiss is filled with desperation, as though he’s pouring years of his denial into it. I kiss him back with the same intensity, wondering if it’s possible to move any closer. Because despite the fact that my legs are wrapped around him and he’s pressed up against me, we are still too far apart.
I roll my hips, desperate to create some friction, and he groans against my lips. “Fuck, Lily.”
He thrusts against my core and I gasp.
Is this it? Have I finally gotten through to him?
He begins to move his lips down my neck as his grinds hiscock against my clit, and I moan, letting my head fall back against the door.
“Is this what you wanted? For me to lose all control so I’ll fuck you?” he growls against my throat.
I whimper, unable to form words while he continues to create delicious friction right where I need it most.
“You want me to fuck you, Lily? Then I’ll fuck you.” He pulls me away from the door and turns, placing me on the edge of his desk and reaches beneath my dress to grip the band of my underwear, and I brace my hands on the desk to lift my hips so he can yank them down my legs. He shoves the lace material into his pocket and grabs a condom from his desk drawer before his fingers find my clit again.
I moan, forcing myself to hold his gaze as the pressure between my legs builds. “Are you angry with me?”
His eyes blaze as he reaches to clasp the back of my head, holding me captive. “I could never be angry with you,” he replies, before claiming my mouth again.
My body shatters, and I moan against his lips.
With one hand still working my clit while the orgasm continues to roll through me, he undoes his belt. It’s only once I’m gasping for breath that he undoes his fly and pulls his cock free, rolling the condom down his shaft with practiced ease.
“This is going to be hard and fast, Lily. Can you handle that?” he asks, and I nod.
