Page 89 of Ruin
Tired of fighting this constant internal battle, I choose the latter.
“Okay,” I murmur back, allowing her to take my hand and lead me into her bedroom.
The room is lit only by the dim lamp on her bedside table, casting a warm glow over the unmade bed.
Keeping her gaze on mine, she slides beneath the covers and scoots over to give me room to lay down beside her.
Once I pull the covers over us both, she moves closer to rest her cheek against my bare chest. Neither of us says a word as I wrap my arm around her and hold her close against my side. She relaxes completely, and I breathe in the scent of her shampoo, a mix of lavender and vanilla.
I don’t recall ever lying in bed with someone like this. Even post-sex, I have never allowed this level of intimacy. I have never wanted it.
But this feels natural. Right.
I want her to show me what she wants from this. What she wants from me. What she wants from us.
Because I’m realising that, despite everything I’ve been telling myself… There is an us now.
And I just have to work out how to be the man she deserves.
39
SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL
SEBASTIAN
After a few moments,she lifts her head to study my face, and I hold her gaze, hoping she can read the change in my emotions.
“You didn’t pull away?” she whispers, reaching up to stroke my cheek.
“I can’t… I can’t fight this anymore,” I admit, allowing myself to be truly vulnerable with her finally.
Her eyes widen, and she rises, resting on her elbow as she reaches to stroke my cheek.
“What do you mean?”
Running my hand up and down her back gently, I search her face for a moment, trying to find the right words.
“When Daniel brought you home the first time, all those years ago, there was something about you, Lily. And I knew, even at the age of eighteen, that you would be my downfall.”
Her eyebrows fly upwards as her expression morphs into one of pure surprise. “What?”
I give her a wry smile. “You have no idea the effect you had on me. Or still do, as it seems. But you didn’t belong in myworld. It was dark and violent, full of shady characters, and for a time, I had to become one of them. It wasn’t a place for someone as full of life as you. I shielded Daniel and you from a lot during those years. It’s why I pushed for him to go to university instead of coming straight into the business. I wanted to build something that was real, and I did. But I’ve always felt like that person… but I’m slowly realising that things have changed now. That maybe I can be worthy of someone like you.”
She cups my cheek, her eyes welling a little. “You have always been worthy, Sebastian DeLuca.”
She bends her head to kiss me again. A whimper slips from her lips, and I tighten my hold on her body as her tongue strokes gently against mine..
I allow her to take the lead, needing her to understand that this isn’t about control.
This is about surrender.
As she becomes bolder, the kiss grows in intensity, and I bring my other hand up to cup her cheek, smoothing my thumb over her soft skin.
She moves to straddle my hips, and I thread my fingers through her silky hair while she kisses her way down my throat. When she reaches my chest, she wiggles backward, and I chuckle when she flicks her gaze to mine with a playful glint in her eye. She slowly plants kisses down my chest and over my abs, holding eye contact with me each time. As though she’s waiting to see when I’m going to take charge.
But I have no intention of bringing this game of hers to an end.
When she reaches the band of my sweatpants, she pauses, her lips pressed to my lower abdomen as her eyes search mine.
