Page 79 of Ruin
I huff a laugh. “I’ve pretty much always had those feelings. That woman has been my kryptonite for sixteen years.”
She turns her body towards mine, placing her hand on my thigh. “Let me guess - you don’t think she has a place in your fucked up world? That a woman like that could never be with someone as broken as you?”
“You’re going to throw my own words back at me, aren’t you?” I ask, giving her a wry smile.
“Well, I mean, you were right about me and Cam, so…” She shrugs.
“Things are a little more complicated with Lily and me.”
She shakes her head. “Only because you’re making it complicated.”
I sigh and drop my head back again. “I can’t corrupt her, Imogen.”
The hand on my thigh tightens. “That woman has been through more than you can possibly understand, Sebastian. And she is capable of understanding what she wants. What did she actually say that’s got you spiralling?”
I swallow, continuing to stare at the ceiling as I replay her words in my head. “She told me how she truly sees me. And then we fucked.”
“Ah. Hence the drinking.” She gets up and takes my glass, walking back over to the drinks cart.
She refills my drink before preparing one for herself, bringing them back over to sit down again and handing the half full glass to me.
She takes a sip of her own whiskey while I study mine for a moment, the events of the last two hours continuing to loop over and over in my head.
“I honestly never thought I’d see you like this over anyone. But I get it,” Imogen says after a moment. “It’s hard when we’ve convinced ourselves that we don’t deserve the good ones. But you helped me see that wasn’t true.”
“She isn’t ready for this world, Imogen. She’s notmeantfor this world.”
Imogen sighs and puts her glass down. “Annika told me about their conversation, you know. The one where Lily told her she wanted to explore more. Is this all sounding familiar?”
I groan, sliding down in the chair and staring at the ceiling again. “I’m really over hearing about that conversation. The past week has been a complete mess because of that damn conversation.”
She chuckles. “Well, you had a similar conversation withmy boyfriend two months ago, if you remember? When he came to you because I was refusing to believe that he was okay with how we live our lives.” She raises an eyebrow at me when I roll my head to the side to look at her. “Seems like, maybe… You need to take your own advice.”
Cam appears at the doorway, pausing when he takes in the scene before him. “Jesus, what the hell happened to you?”
“Nothing,” I reply, remaining slumped down on the couch.
“He caught feelings,” Imogen says, and I glare at her.
“For you?” Cam says, raising an eyebrow as he leans against the doorframe.
She laughs. “No, idiot. For Lily.”
“Ah, right.” He comes into the office and takes a seat next to his girlfriend. “And, because all you Dark Desires people are emotionally stunted, he’s freaking out like you were?”
“I amnotemotionally stunted,” I protest.
Imogen pats my thigh while shooting me a sympathetic look. “You kind of are.”
“Why does everyone forget they work for me?” I say, before taking a mouthful of whiskey.
“I don’t work for you,” Cam says, sounding far too cheerful. “And you definitely are. I don’t know why you’ve all decided you aren’t able to have relationships because you like to fuck a lot, but you know most people like sex, right?”
I roll my eyes. “No, you don’t say? And here I was thinking we were special because we know where all the body parts go,” I say drily.
“Nope, not special, sorry,” he volleys right back with a grin.
“You are enjoying this far too much. All I need now is for Annika to join in to add to the pile-on and it’ll just be the cherry on top of this fucked up night.”
