Page 62 of Ruin
“So how exactly did this all come about? Between you two, I mean? I thought you didn’t sleep with the patrons, Sebastian?” Lily asks, her eyes still closed as Declan slowly undoes the sash on her robe with one hand, his head propped up against his other fist.
I clear my throat, and he glances over his shoulder at me with a smirk as he strokes his hand down her abdomen. She’s practically purring under the attention, so I decide to let it play out however she chooses.
Pushing off from the doorframe where I was leaning, I move to sit on the edge of the bed next to Declan, watching the way the skin on Lily’s lower abdomen pebbles under his touch.
“I don’t now. Declan and I met when I first opened the Rose Hill location, and I hadn’t quite worked out how not to blur the lines between work and play,” I reply, and she opens one eye to look at me.
“But you still sleep with him?”
There’s no trace of jealousy in her tone. She’s always been a curious person who likes to understand how others think and feel, and I guess that extends to my rather unconventional sex and work life balance. I just hadn’t expected to ever have to explain it to her.
“Sebastian and I have an understanding,” Declan pipes up, tracing invisible patterns over her skin, smirking as she shiversand closes her eyes again. “No one in my life knows about my… interests, we’ll call them. At the club nights, it meant I was able to explore that side of myself without having to worry about the truth being revealed before I was ready for it to come out on my terms. And that’s still the case. I enjoy those nights, but it’s infinitely better when I’ve got this one pulling the strings, and pushing my boundaries.”
Lily nods, her breath hitching slightly when Declan’s finger starts to gently circle her nipple. “Okay, so I get why it works for you,” she replies. Her breathless tone is the only real hint at how she’s affected by his attention, as her gaze is fixed on mine once again. “What do you get out of it?”
I move to lean back against the pillows and run a hand through my hair. “I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but most of the people I sleep with work for me, in one capacity or another. And those interactions are more for their benefit than mine. Aside from Imogen and our mutually beneficial arrangement that suits us both. And I guess, to an extent, Annika. But I could never bring myself to seek any of the others out for sex, because it would feel like an abuse of power that I’m not comfortable with. I have a lot of sex, but it’s seldom for my own benefit. And I’m content with that, but sometimes it’s nice to have people outside of that bubble that I can turn to for release.”
Her back arches as Declan’s hand moves further south, but her eyes are filled with understanding as she nods.
“I get that. But then… tonight… that wasn’t about you. Did this ruin your plans to let lose for a night by having me tag along?”
I chuckle, shaking my head. “If I wasn’t comfortable with you being here, Lily, I wouldn’t have suggested this outing.”
A smile plays across her lips, but it disappears a moment later as her lips part and she draws in a long breath when Declan finally turns his attentionto her clit.
I watch his fingers roll over her clit. It’s obvious he’s taken a liking to her. While there’s no jealousy on my part while I watch his fingers dip in and out of her pussy, I’m surprised at how eager I am for more interactions like this with her. Now that I’ve seen how willing she is to experiment, a million different scenarios run through my head. But it’s images of the scenarios where we’re alone and I’m fucking her nice and slow while kissing her softly that are telling me this is all going to end badly. Because in those scenarios, it’s not about the physical act, but the emotions that those images invoke within me. And that scares the absolute shit out of me.
Once Lily comes again, Declan rolls towards me, running his eyes slowly down my naked body and halting on my once again fully erect cock. I shove all thoughts of feelings aside and allow myself to lie back, closing my eyes as he takes me in his mouth.
I let all other thoughts drift away and focus simply on enjoying this moment and not having to think about anyone else’s pleasure for a brief moment in time.
The next morning, despite the late hour we arrived home, I’m still up at my usual 6am. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to simply rest. My life is a constant cycle of work, work, and more work. If it weren’t for all the sex, I’d worry I was going to work myself into an early grave, but the endorphins seem to work wonders for my productivity.
When I get down to the gym, I’m surprised to see the light pouring from the small dance studio. I’d thought Lily was still asleep when I had quietly let myself out of my suite. I had expected her to sleep all morning after we’d made it back upstairs close to 3am. We’d spent hours with Declan, fucking and being fucked, and it had been glorious. But while I’m usedto nights like that, Lily most certainly is not, and I’m honestly stunned she has any energy right now.
I recognise the song playing from Chasing Destiny’s backlist, a slow and hauntingly beautiful song that I know she used to listen to on repeat. I walk to the open doorway, despite the fact that I usually prefer to work out in solitude.
That need for quiet never seems to extend to her. I don’t know that I’ll ever be ready to acknowledge why that it is.
Her body moves effortlessly through a series of flowing dance moves. It’s almost as though the music is a part of her, and it’s mesmerising to watch. I’ve seen her dance a handful of times over the years, but it was always at professional performances for her studies or with her dance studios. Watching her now, where there’s no audience to impress or teachers putting her through her paces, it’s obvious that she was born for this.
I know she’s aware of my presence, but she doesn’t falter in her steps once. Even though Annika had mentioned that she’d been distressed yesterday morning when she thought all her creativity had dried up, I see no evidence of that now.
I lean against the doorframe and marvel at the change I’ve seen in her over the last two months.
Is it really only that long?
I’ve grown so used to her presence that I’m struggling to remember what it’s like around here without her. Especially now that I’m not worrying about hiding my true nature from her.
The song ends, and she stops in the middle of the room, breathing hard as her eyes meet mine in the mirror.
“That was breathtaking, Lily,” I tell her, ignoring the tightness in my chest at the arousal in her eyes while she studies me.
This attraction between us is intoxicating, and after years of ignoring my feelings for her, I don’t know how to process it all.
“Thank you,” she says quietly.
We continue to watch each other for a few beats, and then I straighten and give her a nod, before leaving the gym and going for a run instead.
