Page 39 of Ruin
“Oh, god,” she whimpers, panting as her back arches clean off the bed.
“Pinch your nipple, Angel. See if that helps take you over the edge.”
She slides the hand not in control of the vibrator up her abdomen, dragging the shirt upwards to cup her breast briefly, before pinching her nipple between her thumb and pointer finger and tugging slightly.
Seconds later, she comes with a loud moan, her body trembling as the orgasm rockets through her.
“You are exquisite, Angel,” I murmur, forcing myself to stay where I am, even though every part of me is screaming to move to her side and kiss her.
Her breath eventually evens out, and she pulls the vibrator away, attempting to turn it off as her cheeks turn pink. It’sobvious that, now the moment has passed, she’s feeling self conscious.
I move to the side of the bed and gently take the vibrator from her, holding the button down until it stops buzzing.
She covers her face with her hands, and I take a seat on the edge of the bed beside her, tugging them away.
“Why are you hiding?”
She groans, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment before forcing herself to look at me.
“Because I’m embarrassed, that’s why!”
Unable to resist, I smirk. “You have nothing to be embarrassed about, Lily. I can assure you, that is not the first time I’ve watched someone get themselves off with a vibrator. Not even close.”
She glares at me. “Well, it’s the first time I’ve ever done anything like that in front of anyone. Ever.”
“Have you ever done that without someone else around?”
She shakes her head. “No… That’s the first time I’ve ever used a vibrator. Annika had to tell me what to do with it,” she admits, her cheeks going pink again.
“You’d be surprised how often that’s the case with women,” I say, and her eyes widen.
“What?”
I nod, grimacing. “Unfortunately, especially with the rising increase in men only learning about sex through pornography that is filmed for the male gaze. They have no idea how to give women true satisfaction in the bedroom, or how to treat them with respect. I wager that is also the reason for the popularity of those books that Annika devours regularly. A lot of men don’t even know where the clitoris is.” Her blush grows even deeper, but I don’t comment on it, not wanting to make her more uncomfortable. “It’s why Dark Desires is so successful. Yes, we have male clients, but the main focus here is on exploration andeducation. More than half our clients are women looking to explore their sexuality and sexual fantasies in a safe environment, sometimes with their partners, sometimes alone.”
She studies me for a while, and I remain quiet, letting her process my words.
“If that’s the case, why were you so against me finding out about any of this?”
Realising I need to be vulnerable with her, I feel my shoulders tense, but I know I need to be honest now. “Because it’s you.”
She frowns. “I don’t understand. Wouldn’t I be the exact type of person this place is aimed at? Is it because I have no money?”
I choke on a laugh. “Absolutely not. Look at this place. Do you honestly think I need money from you?”
She continues frowning. “Well, what is it then?”
Studying her face, I debate for a moment how honest to be with her. How honest I can be with myself.
With a sigh, I run a hand through my hair. “The world we lived in when Daniel first met you was dark and violent, full of shady characters. It wasn’t somewhere for someone as full of life as you. I shielded Daniel and you from a lot during those years. It’s why I pushed for him to go to university instead of coming straight into the business. I wanted to build something that was real… That was ready for him to walk into once he graduated.”
She reaches to place her hand over mine. I hadn’t even noticed I’d balled it into a fist at my side.
“I know you hate how you guys got the money. But you’ve built something good with it, Sebastian. You should be proud of what you’ve done.”
I nod. “I am, now. I’ve found a way to reconcile our shitty childhood with the life we have now. But we still only sharethat information with a select few people. It’s not like we can just bring up the fact that our father was a criminal mastermind who was so violent that our mother had no choice but to run away with us. Daniel is lucky. He doesn’t remember much about our life before she got us out of there. He was only six. But I remember all of it. And that was why I chose to remain in the foster system under our assumed identities when she died, even though they split us up. Because nothing would have been worse than going back to him as a minor with no control over anything.”
I’m surprised that seeing her sympathetic expression doesn’t make me shut down. I’ve refused to allow anyone to feel sorry for me and the hand I was dealt as a child. But Lily was never justanyoneto either Daniel or me. She was like family for him. And for me… I don’t know how to put into words how it felt to have someone so loving enter our lives.
