Page 52 of Heart of Snow
“You have. Even in the dark I can see your eyes are red. It’s because of Mistress Hatzfeld, isn’t it?”
I didn’t answer.
“Did you have no idea of their engagement before the banquet?”
“None.” I shook my head. “She never gave a hint of it. Belinda was to be my one comfort in Brussels.” I rubbed my nose, fighting the threatening emotion.
“Traitorous snake,” he muttered.
I dropped my hand and took a breath, reminding myself of the truth. “Friedrich, that is unfair. You do not know what her life has been before now. How she craves... security and safe—”
He stepped into my space. “Why do you do this, Margaretha? Why do you tolerate and forgive and accommodate everyone else’s wishes? What ofyourdesires?” His eyes burned into mine, and he moved impossibly closer, the heat of him searing me. “What of your heart?”
The threat of tears vanished. “What do you know of my heart?” I challenged.
“That it is stubborn,” he growled.
I cast my gaze aside with a huff, but he took a gentle hold of my arm, his voice turning soft. “Why won’t you admit what you want?”
My gaze shot to his face, my body tensing.
Because what I wanted was impossible. Selfish. How could I even consider abandoning my brother and abandoning my very soul’s redemption to stay here in Wildungen? Belinda needed me. Samuel needed me.
But I wanted Friedrich.
Though I would never confess it.
I stood my ground, matching the fire in Friedrich’s eyes as the first drops of rain plinked around us, then fell faster, drumming on our heads and dripping frigid drops down our necks. When I started to shiver, he finally broke his gaze, squinting through the rain as he searched around us.
“Over there.” He took my hand and led me to the same nook where we’d hidden earlier, urging me inside it first, then tucking in just as a sudden gale caught the rain and threw it sideways.
Though I watched the storm outside of the small, warm space, all my focus centered on Friedrich’s fingers still clutching mine, his thumb brushing the back of my hand. The movements were tentative, skimming soft patterns across my skin. A shiver rolled up my spine. I needed to pull free. Instinct would have me withdraw from his touch, jerk back as if I’d grazed a hot stove, and yet I did not move, foolishly relishing the burn.
“Margaretha.” His rough voice brought my eyes up to his, the intensity there making me pull in a quick breath. “I did not ask you here to fight with you. I needed to admit...”
Fear and desire swirled together as I anticipated what he would say.
“I must confess that I...” He ducked his gaze, the rest of his words coming out in a rush. “I have developed feelings for you. I care for you. And I’m asking you to stay.”
Emotions swarmed, my stomach becoming a hive of fluttering and swooping and soaring. Then piercing little stings as reason attacked desire.
I could not give in.
With a sigh, I attempted to slip my hand from his grasp, but he wrapped his fingers tighter around mine. “Don’t do this, Margaretha. Don’t push me away.” His whisper was fierce.
I took a deep breath of rain-stained air. “Friedrich, I don’t—”
“Please stay.” He released my hand and set his cool fingers on my cheek. “Stay for yourself. Stay for me.”
My cloak waved as Friedrich’s other hand moved beneath it, landing on my waist and sliding around my back to slowly pull me closer. I was rigid, every nerve taut with the effort to resist his pleas. To resist my selfish longing.
“Stay for me.” His voice was gentle, a whisper, and when his eyes dipped to my mouth, I melted into his strength, fear and doubt and resistance all evaporating in the warm way he held me. He lowered his head and I—weak and human—tipped mychin up, lifting my face to his and relishing the way his hand splayed across my back to pull me closer to him. His touch was his soundest argument, convincing me that I should fight for this. That I should find a way to stay.
Warmth flickered in my chest, and this time I did not push it out. Instead, I rolled onto my toes, brushing my nose along Friedrich’s rough jawline, then sliding my cheek against his until our lips touched. His gasp of surprise made me smile, but my smile fled the moment he took control of the kiss, his hand traveling up my back to cradle my neck. He tipped my head to the side, the angle bringing him closer as his mouth captured mine again and again. With every caress of his lips, the warmth in me grew, the heat reaching through me and seeping deeper into my core until a gentle rhythm pulsed in my heart. Friedrich wanted me to stay. He wanted me.
But would he want you if he knew the truth?
Ice blasted through me, and I pulled away from Friedrich with a sharp gasp.
