Page 85 of Heart of Snow
Curling my fingers around his, I summoned my courage and lifted my eyes to his. “Felipe, if I’m to be your only wife, then I would that you prove yourself to me.”
“Gladly.” He squeezed my hand.
“Promise to marry me.”
His fingers froze on mine, but only for a moment. He almost succeeded in sounding unruffled as he answered, “You know that isn’t possible.”
“That you marry one so far beneath you?”
“That I abandon an alliance with England.”
I cocked my head. “Is not Mary Tudor your cousin? Surely familial bond is alliance enough.”
“Hardly. Half the kingdoms are ruled by my cousins. Marriage is the only way to maintain the kind of power we Habsburgs have.”
“You already rule half the continent. You can’t give up that one little piece of an island for me?” I chewed the inside of my cheek, and the prince eyed my mouth, sliding his thumb across my lower lip.
“It’s not just one island. It’s my entire kingdom. That alliance with England will give us funds and armies enough to battle the Ottomans, the French, even you rebellious Germans.”
I pulled my hand from his and stood, keeping my back to him. “You’ve managed without England up to now. Surely you can get along without them for the next sixty years.”
“Sixty?” He followed me, his fingers caressing the skin of my shoulders. “You plan to live a long life.”
I nodded, and he turned me toward him, his eyes dancing over my face before dropping to my mouth.
His head dipped closer. “Will you let me live it with you?” he whispered, then touched his lips to mine.
I should have turned away. Wisdom demanded it, but wisdom was hard to find in the face of Felipe’s tender kiss. He wrapped his arm around my waist and tugged me against him, but his lips moving over mine stayed soft and sweet, matching his gentle plea. My defenses were falling, and I was angry with myself that even after his manipulation, some part of me wanted to give in to the heady sensation of his touch. But experience had taught me that Felipe never fought fair, and now he wielded temptation like a weapon.
Twisting from his hold, I left him behind, retreating to the safety of the palace hall. I rested my forehead against the cool stone of a marble pillar, taking a few clarifying breaths before my pulse settled enough to let me face him when he approached. “Felipe, if you truly loved me, it would be nothing to sacrifice alliances and advantages. King Henry of England was so in love with Lady Anne that he broke with the church for her, and I’m certainly not asking you to do anything so extreme.”
“You saw how well that turned out for Lady Anne.” He folded his arms across his chest. “These are real sacrifices you ask. Not just of me, but of all my people. I am more than one man, more than one kingdom, even. I’m an entire empire, and I must thinkof what’s best for everyone. What’s best for you too, Margaretha. I’m sure you envisioned a life where you’d be at a man’s side as his wife, but I cannot offer it. I dare not offer it for what it could mean for you.”
I lifted my head to meet his eye. “What do you imply?”
“You take a great risk if you insist on this course. I truly do love you, Margaretha. Maybe even so much, so selfishly, that I could forget about the losses my empire would suffer by our union. But my family would not. Maintaining the empire is all that matters to them, and I fear what they might do to you should you get in their way.”
“Are you suggesting violence?”
“Possibly.” He stepped closer but avoided my gaze. “Nothing overt, mind you. A convenient accident or unexplained illness. Whatever it might be, I couldn’t save you. I wouldn’t know how to prevent it.” His eyes met mine. “I beg you to accept all that I can give you: gowns and jewels, your brother’s freedom...” He came closer still, settling his hands around my waist. “And my undying love.”
Anticipating his kiss, I turned my face so that his lips met my cheek.
“It’s not love,” I said.
He pulled back to look at me. “What?”
“What you offer me is not love, else you’d never insist I sacrifice my honor for you. You’d free my brother out of kindness and goodness, not use him as a lure to compel me into servitude.”
Clenching his jaw, he caught my wrist in his tight grip. “I use your brother to push you into seeing reason. You have no idea the patience I’ve shown you. You think it easy to restrain myself?” He dropped my wrist and ran his hand through his hair. “I’ve waited for you to come willingly. How is that not proof of love?”
I swallowed, forcing myself not to look away or cower. “If you insist on holding my brother’s life as forfeit, I can no longer believe your confession of love, but would question your nobility, your decency. Even your humanity.”
He flinched, rearing his head back as if I’d slapped him. We watched each other, the silence heavy between us until the prince finally looked away, straightening his jerkin and hair. “It seems we’ve said all we can on the subject. This must be goodbye.” Turning on his heel, he walked away, his boots clipping over the marble floors.
Tears pricked my eyes as I stood, wondering what to do, but I soon found myself scrambling up the stairs toward the only place I could think to go. Belinda’s chambers were already dark, but when I quietly tapped on the door, her maid was quick to answer. Belinda sat up so fast I wondered if she’d slept at all. Her gaze was bright with the reflected light of the fresh-lit candle when she asked, “Is all resolved? Is Samuel’s freedom secured?”
My eyes welled again. “I may have just destroyed all hope of saving Samuel.”
