Page 33 of His to Teach
Her eyes meet mine, pleading and wide, and damn it, they’re so beautiful.She’sso beautiful. “But you can’t expect me to just stay home and forget this world exists.”
Her attention goes down to her hands, twisting on the table, and I know she’s feeling shy, the realization sending a protective surge through me. “You showed me things that night. Things about myself. And I don’t want to ignore them. I…I don’t think I can.”
“Not with Aden Roth,” I say, my voice a ragged whisper. “Please, Harper.”
God, I’m actually begging. Me. Begging a woman.
Her eyes flash. “And what about you? You’re allowed to come here whenever you want and do whatever you want with any other woman?—”
“That isnotwhy I’m here,” I snap, feeling strangely hurt by the accusation. “You think I’m looking for another sub?”
She shrugs, looking lost. “If not tonight, I’m sure you will be soon. You’re going to move on, Nate. All I’m asking for is the chance to do the same.”
I close my eyes. I can’t even begin to imagine moving on. Still, everything else she said is right—it is unfair of me to ask her to stay away from this life. But the idea of watching her with that slime ball Roth… “Nothim,” I say again, more firmly this time.
She straightens up. “Are you telling me there’s someone here you’d rather I learn from? Because that’s all I’m looking for.”
Philllip, I think. Philip would be the only one I would trust to help her through this transition, to train her properly, to keep her safe and to make sure she learns how to stay that way. I should send her to Philip. He’s an excellent dom, an excellent teacher, the one I would send anyone else to. Ihavesent others to him, several times over the years.
But the thought of sending Harper…the thought of his hands on her, the sting of his paddle on her skin…I clench my fists under the table. It’s unbearable.
“Come home with me.”
Her gaze snaps up to my face. “What?”
I meet her eyes, determined. Fuck the warning voices in my head. Fuck the consequences. Everything she said is true. I can’t expect her to just ignore this part of herself and I certainly can’t leave her to fend for herself in this new world. She’ll end up in danger, connected to some asshole who doesn’t know the first thing about taking care of a sub. Someone like Roth. There’s no way in hell I’m going to let that happen.
Besides, what I said to her is true as well, that day at lunch with her brother. Learning how to compartmentalize is essential to this lifestyle. And at this point in my life, I can safely say I’m an expert at compartmentalizing. Why can’t I do the same thing with Harper? Have her the way I want in this environment, and continue to treat her professionally at work.
It shouldn’t be a problem
And all of that is bullshit,I tell myself. The simple fact is, I just don’t care anymore. Maybe it’s stupid, maybe it’s the last thing in the world I should be doing, but I don’t care. I want this woman, want her like I haven’t wanted anyone in years. Maybe ever.
I’m tired of trying to be good. I’m tired of staying away. It’s really that simple.
“Come home with me,” I say again, hearing the plea in my own voice.
She’s staring back at me, eyes wide and bewildered. “Why?”
I lean in closer to her, finally giving into the urge to reach out and touch her shoulder. God, I’ve wanted to touch her every time I’ve seen her since that night. And her skin feels exactly as I remembered, smooth and delicate and so fucking soft. “Because it’s too much, being here with you, in this building. It makes me want…I want too much, Harper.”
She releases a long breath, her eyes fixed on my lips now. “And what will happen if I go home with you?”
“I don’t know. I just know…I can’t be with you here, Harper. It’s too distracting. All I can think about is what we did in that back room and how much I want to murder that asshole for putting his hands on you.”
Jesus, I sound desperate. Her eyes widen in surprise and she clears her throat. “I came here with Emma. I can’t just leave.”
I glance back towards the bar, breathing out a sigh of relief when I see that Roth is no longer there. Philip is standing nextto a red-headed woman who looks to be about Harper’s age—Emma, I assume. My friend has a charming smile on his face as he talks. Unsurprisingly, she looks plenty charmed. Philip tends to have that effect on women—when he wants to.
“Philip will make sure that she gets home safely.”
Her eyebrows go up. “And I’m just supposed to trust this acquaintance of yours—who I’ve never even met—to get my best friend home because you say so?”
I have to clench my hands in my lap to keep from reaching out to take her over my knee. Her sass both makes me want to spank her and makes me hard at the same time. It’s incredibly distracting.
“You say you trustme,” I tell her, trying to put some authority into my voice. I’ve been pleading and desperate long enough. It’s getting pathetic. “That should be enough.”
She watches me for a long moment, studying my face. Finally, her shoulders slump a little and I breathe out in relief. She’s decided. “Let me just go and tell her?—”
