Page 27 of Choosing Hope
My skin was prickling, making me uneasy again.
“I understand you want clarity—that’s completely valid. But your brain has been protecting you for a long time. It won’t let go of everything all at once, and that’s not weakness. That’s survival.”
I nod in response.
“There’s just a little more. Once it’s all out...you’ll help me make sense of it, right?”
Dr. Klein’s expression softens. She doesn’t rush to speak.
“That’s not something I’ll doforyou, Spencer; but it’s something we’ll dotogether. You’ve already done the hardest part: letting the truth surface.”
She pauses, letting that land.
“When you’ve finished, we sit with it. Let the dust settle. And when you’re ready, we can start shaping what comes next.”
I lick my lips, bracing myself. It’s going to take everything that I have, to stay in detail and not skip ahead. This part...it’s probably the hardest for her to understand; and the hardest for me to explain. Because honestly? There are still gaps. Parts I don’t fully understand myself.
On the night of our graduation, I surprised Sophie by taking her to dinner alone.
It was the first time in months that we’d been alone on a date. Neither of us seemed to crave time for ourselves, including Carlo seemed perfectly natural. He was central to every facet of our relationship. And yet, as our server cleared our dinner plates, I was nervously excited to take her to the hotel room I’d booked for us, alone.
Once I’d paid for our meal, she thanked me and naturally walked toward the exit.
I caught her around the waist, changing her direction.
She quizzed me, but I didn’t reply, instead giving her a cheeky wink.
In all honesty, I don’t think I could have spoken. The nerves about what I was just about to do were exploding in my gut. I just needed to get her alone.
I led her to the elevator and scanned the keycard I had hidden in my pocket on the sensor. The doors slid closed, and I backed her up against the wall. Unable to resist her.
She was wearing a dress that flaunted her fantastic tits. Trailing my fingertips down the deep V of her cleavage, I told her how much I’d been struggling and answered her previous question all at once.
“Your little dress has been taunting me all evening. I haven’t finished celebrating with you yet,” I whispered against her lips.
When the elevator doors slid open, I think she was expecting a dingy hotel corridor. Her expression when a beautiful sitting room with gorgeous views overlooking the Thames appeared was therefore priceless.
She glanced up at me with a shocked but quizzical look on her face, intrigued about where we were.
We stepped into the modern space, decorated with a color palette of soft natural shades featuring accents of blue in scatter cushions and pictures. The room was calming. I could well imagine a hotel guest sinking into these plush, comfortable sofas after experiencing the hustle and bustle of the city below.
Carlo, who was in on the plan, had organized a bucket filled with ice and a bottle of champagne, and as she drifted toward the view, it caught her eye.
I’d studied her and preempted her swiveling back to me to ask what was going on. When she turned, I was on one knee with a ring box in hand.
Her cheeks flushed instantly, and her eyes grew wide as if she could barely believe what was happening.
I saw her peer inside the box lined with deep blue satin, as if she needed to check it was a ring.
Meanwhile, my heart had stopped beating. I was so freaking nervous that she’s going to call me ridiculous and tell me we were too young.
I heard her breath catch when she saw the huge but simple teardrop diamond ring that Carlo and I had chosen for her.
“Sophie, I love you.You are—without a doubt—the most beautiful person I’ve ever known, inside and out. I still haven’t figured out what I did to deserve you...but I thank the universe every day that we met. I can’t promise a traditional life, or even a picture-perfect marriage. But I can promise you, my love. Always. No matter where life takes us. Will you marry me?”
Overcome, she gazed down into my eyes, my still heart in my throat. Even though we were young, I was certain I’d never love anyone else the way I loved and still love her.
“Yes,” she whispered, her eyes brimming with tears as I slid the gorgeous engagement ring onto her finger.
