Page 9 of Last First Kiss
“Te amo,” she adds.
“I love you, too.”
The call ends, and I toss my phone onto the floor, not hard enough to break it, but hard enough that it lands far away so I won’t hear it ring when Lala—inevitably—calls again.
It’s not that the women she sets me up with aren’t attractive or great, but nothing ever comes of it because I’m not looking for a relationship. Something Lala doesn’t understand—or pretends not to. She’s convinced there’s a woman out there who will make me change my mind, most likely the granddaughter of one of her bingo or church friends.
The well of grandmas with single gay granddaughters must be endless in her town because she calls at least twice a week with “a beautiful and sweet girl youabsolutelyneed to meet.”
Normally, I wouldn’t mind going out with the women my grandma’s been setting me up with. But ever since I had that heart-to-heart with Clara about feeling as if I’ll never fully move on from Mia and that nagging belief of not being good enough, something’s shifted, and I’ve started thinking that maybe the only thing that could genuinely help me move on is getting out of Stanwood. This town is saturated with memories of Mia, and it’s hard to heal when I can’t even grab ice cream without being reminded of one of our many dates.
It’s been a few weeks since that thought took root, and the more I sat with it, the more it made sense. So, I’ve been secretly applying for jobs in New York. I’m not exactly sure why I landed on New York. Maybe it was because it’s onthe complete opposite side of the country, or maybe because the only other place that made sense for photography was LA, and honestly, I can’t stand LA.
However I got there, I’m glad I did. New York seems so full of possibilities, and I’m genuinely looking forward to starting from zero.
That’s partly why I’m not very excited about all this dating Lala has me doing—why start something new here when I’m hoping to be somewhere else entirely in a few months? Plus, I don’t think my heart is capable of falling in love anymore.
No one knows I’m thinking about moving—not even Clara. Honestly, I don’t know how to bring it up. I’m a little scared to tell her because I’m worried she won’t want to come with me. I know it’s kind of ridiculous to hope that your best friend will uproot her life and move across the country with you, but it’s been me and her for so long, the thought of doing life without her, or even far from her, terrifies me.
“She called to set you up again, didn’t she?” Clara interrupts my thoughts.
I nod and lie back on her crisscrossed legs, rubbing my eyes against her thigh, probably smearing mascara all over her.
“What if you told her you were already dating someone?”
I snort. “She’d ask who and then demand photographic evidence and a full family history.”
“Yeah, you’re right,” she says, as she pops a kernel of popcorn into her mouth.
“Plus, she’d never buy it. She’d want to meet her before Diana’s wedding.”
My sister’s wedding is in a month, and Lala has been onan intense mission for the past few weeks, pressed to find me a plus-one. Her efforts have only intensified as the wedding gets closer. I’ve done everything I can think of to try to get out of them, but she won’t budge.
In the past four weeks, she’s set me up on at least ten dates. I only agreed to do this because I didn’t think there would be this many. I thought I’d average out one or maybe two a month, not two to three aweek, and now I can’t get out of them. I love my grandma and how fiercely she wants to see me happy, but this is all too much.
The only good thing about this situation is crawling into Clara’s bed after each one and having her arms around me as we go through the dates postmortem, but I can tell they’re starting to wear her down.
Clara hums, bringing me back to the present. I look up at her, waiting for an idea that’ll get me out of this.
“Okay, what if you said you were dating someone who lives far away?” Clara snaps her fingers. “Like, Australia.”
I groan. “She’d book me a flight and tell me to bring back great-grandkids.”
Clara laughs. She knows I’m right.
I flip onto my back, still using Clara’s thigh as a pillow as I stare into her honey-brown eyes before I focus on the tiny smile forming on her lips.
“You’ll figure it out.” She presses a kiss to her index finger before applying it to my forehead.
I know I will, but I’m still dreading the inevitable call from Lala telling me about another date she’s planned. A job offer from New York couldn’t come fast enough.
Thankfully, aside from being tricked into a date, I don’t have any plans today other than hanging out with Clara. Every Saturday, we stay in, binge-watch movies, and order way too much Indian food.
“Go get changed. It’s almost movie time, and you’re making me dizzy. Did you eat a garlic head or something?” Clara scrunches up her nose.
I roll off the couch and shuffle into my room, ready to change into something more comfortable. I grab an oversized T-shirt that has probably been through a thousand laundry days, and a pair of sweats so baggy the drawstring barely keeps them from falling off.
When I return, I sink onto the couch. Clara’s sitting with her knees pulled up to her chest, so I lie on my back and tuck my feet under her butt.
