Page 83 of Last First Kiss
I don’t know if we can fix what’s broken. I don’t even know if she wants to. But I do know this: I love her. And I don’t see that changing anytime soon.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CLARA
Aknock comes through my hotel room.
I pause the episode ofDatelineplaying on the hotel TV and open the door, expecting Isabella and Lily, but instead, Alejandra is standing at my doorway, along with a sea of bags.
“Hey,” she says, voice small, and her eyes don’t meet mine.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, a little surprised, a little excited, but mostly confused.
“Isabella told me she and Lily were coming down to talk to you and check in, and I thought maybe it should be me. There’s a lot I haven’t said that I should have.”
“Come in.” I step to the side to let her in and then help her move the mountain of things Diana made her travel with. She’s always been an over-packer, but this is on another level.
“Thanks,” Alejandra says as I bring in the last set of bags from the hotel corridor.
I sit at the end of the bed and watch her pace back andforth, giving her time to gather her thoughts and say what she came here to say.
Her fingers fidget at her sides, eyes darting to the floor, the ceiling, everywhere but me.
“What’s up?” I ask, unable to take it anymore.
She slips off her leather jacket before taking a deep breath, and that makes me even more nervous.
“I thought after we talked about the move, after we told each other we loved each other, that things would settle. That we’d be okay,” she says, her voice tight. Her hands are flexing at her sides like she doesn’t know what to do with them. “Even when you asked for space, we still felt ... solid. Like we were going to find our way back, and this was just nothing more than a rough patch.” She stops suddenly, turning to face me. “But now? You barely talk to me when we’re home. It feels like I’m constantly tiptoeing around you, like I’m waiting for something to snap. And Ihatethat.”
My heart clenches into a painful knot, but I don’t say anything. I listen as Alejandra continues.
“If you don’t want to keep exploring this pull, this thing that’s been growing, that’s okay. Really. But you have to tell me, because right now, something feels off. This is a version of us that doesn’t make sense.” She says it in a rush, barely stopping to breathe, and by the end, her voice cracks. Tears gather at the corners of her eyes, and although she blinks furiously, they don’t disappear.
I stand and reach for her hand, pulling her closer. I hold her tightly, hoping it’ll make everything feel safe again. The last thing I want is for her to feel distant or unsure.
“That’s not what I want at all,” I say through kisses on Alejandra’s head.
“It isn’t?” she asks, her voice small but surprised.
“No,” I reply quickly. I take a breath, trying to put tangled feelings into words. “I just ... I thought we both needed space.Ineeded space. To think about New York, about us. I was trying to figure things out. But I swear, letting things between us fall apart was never part of the plan.”
“You promise?”
A breath of laughter escapes me. “I promise,” I say, taking a slow step toward her. “In that time apart, I realized that I’d follow you anywhere.” The words come out so easily, I know I made the right choice.
A soft gasp slips from her lips. I reach up and tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear, my hand lingering on the curve.
“I want you to chase every dream, no matter where it leads you. I want you to grow, stretch, and shine, with or without me. But if you’ll let me, I want to be beside you. Not because I have to. Because Iwantto. Because it’s you, and the thought of not celebrating every milestone alongside you makes my very soul break.”
Her eyes fill with tears again, but this time, they’re softer, almost relieved.
“I just want you.” I rub my nose against hers.
“And I wantyou.” Alejandra lifts her hand to my cheek, her thumb grazing the edge of my jaw, her touch grounding me the way only she can.
“New York isn’t a dream to me. I thought it was, but then I realized that what we have, whatyoumean to me, and the life we have built here, that’s my true dream, and I’m not letting go of it,” she says as tears start to spill over.
I cup her cheek, and I lean in, my lips barely brushing hers at first, but the moment she melts into me, it’s like coming home, like a promise. Like a beginning.
