Page 70 of Last First Kiss
I ache for both, but when I think about it with my heart and not my head, the answer is so simple.
I squeeze Mia’s hand gently, then, slowly, I pull away enough to look into her face, my voice breaking. “Mia ... I love you. I always will. You held such an important part in my life for so long. But ... what I have with Clara, I can’t lose.”
“You don’t have to,” she whispers, her voice breaking as she grabs my hand back, her grip both desperate and gentle. “I promise I won’t fight you on your friendship with Clara anymore. All I want is you.”
I shake my head softly, my heart heavy. “No, that’s not what I mean. I mean ... I want my future with Clara.”
Mia’s eyes flash with hurt and anger. “You want to throwusaway over a flimsy connection to Clara? After everything we’ve been through? You think what you have with her is so much stronger?”
“Yes,” I reply, as anger starts to build. “And for the record,youthrew us away.Isevered a connection that was way overdue. You don’t love me, Mia. You just don’t want to see me move on.”
Mia’s eyes darken with pain, and she tightens her grip on my hand. “So that’s it? You’d rather walk away from everythingwehad for some uncertain future with her?”
I meet her gaze, steady now. “It’s not uncertain to me. It’s the only future that feels real. You taught me what loveisn’t. Clara is showing me what lovecanbe. I’m done living in the shadow of what we were. Clara makes me happy, Mia.”
She scoffs. “I fucking knew it. You were with me, but your eyes? They were glued to her. I wasn’t just imagining things, was I?”
She turns to where Clara is standing, her eyes blazing. “Every damn time ...” She scoffs as she walks toward Clara.
When she reaches her, her voice starts rising with every word. “Every damn time we hung out, you looked at her like she was your little secret. Guess she was. I used to tell myself I was paranoid. That I was being insecure. Turns out, I was right.” Her gaze sharpens. “You’ve been waiting for her to notice you, haven’t you? One moment. One excuse to make a move.”
My blood feels like it’s about to bubble over.
How dare Mia act like this when it was she who was never really present in our relationship?When she ended us.
I step forward, the words spilling out before I can stop them.
“You’ve got some nerve, Mia. We broke up years ago. What are you doing? Why are you picking a fight with Clara? You don’t get to demand answers from us. Nothing ever happened between us while you and I were together, and that’s all you need to know. You want to start blaming me for our relationship not working? That’s fine, but we both know it was you who gave up. Don’t act like you suddenly care.”
Mia flinches, but I don’t stop.
“We’ve been done for years. What Clara and I do—it’s not your business.”
“What’s going on here?” Lily interrupts, eyeing all three of us.
“Mia is leaving,” I say sternly.
Mia scoffs, folding her arms. “I just wanted some honesty. Clearly, that’s too much to ask.”
“No,” I snap, stepping toward her. “You wanted drama. You wanted to stir something up so you could feel like youstill mattered in this conversation. But youdon’t. Not anymore.”
Her eyes narrow, but I don’t let her interrupt.
“You want to talk about honesty? Fine. Let’s talk. You checked out on us long before you broke up with me. While I was pouring my heart out, fighting to hold us together, you were already gone, lost in everythingbutme. For months, years even, I reached for you, begged for you, tried to fix what was breaking. And when we finally broke up, what did you want? A booty call. No care, no respect for the fact that I was still in love with you, still drowning in those memories, clinging to the possibility of an us because every time we met, you made it seem like there could still be one when you knew there wasn’t. So don’t you dare stand there, pretending you’re the one who got hurt.”
Mia’s mouth opens, but nothing comes out.
Clara shifts beside me, silent but steady, and Lily watches, stunned into silence.
“This conversation is over. Bye, Mia.” I grab Clara’s hand and pul her deeper onto the dance floor with me.
Mia lets out a bitter laugh behind us, but I don’t look back. We slip into the crowd, her presence fading with every step. When I’m sure she’s gone, I finally exhale, my taut muscles relaxing.
Clara gently pulls me into a hug, her arms wrapping around me like an anchor. I melt into it, grounding myself in her calm.
Her breath brushes my ear as she whispers, “I’m so fucking proud of you for standing up for yourself.”
“I’m sorry,” I murmur, my voice muffled against her shoulder.
