Page 56 of Last First Kiss
“Yeah,” I say slowly. “It was ... at first.”
“And now?”
I don’t know how much to say. But then I look at her, at Cathia, who’s protected and loved me as her own my entire life, the person I trust almost as much as I do Alejandra, and Iwantto tell her. I want to share some of the happiness I feel with her. Maybe I won’t tell her everything, but enough.
“Now ... it’s not so fake anymore,” I say, still not entirely believing the words myself.
“When did this switch happen?”
“Last night,” I reply, quieter than I mean to, almost shy.
“And how are you feeling about it?” Her voice softens. “I still remember that call you made sophomore year, in the middle of the night, all choked up over some girl you said you couldn’t have.”
I blink. “You remember that?”
Of course, she does.
“You didn’t say who it was, but I always thought it might’ve been Alejandra. She’d started seeing Mia, and you got really quiet when her name came up the first few months of their relationship.”
I huff a quiet laugh, mostly at myself. “I thought I was being subtle.”
“Not even a little,” she says, nudging me. “You sounded heartbroken. And after that, you wrote love off, like you’d decided it wasn’t for you.”
Her words hit something old andraw in me. I’m suddenly back in my dorm room, junior year, sitting on the floor with my phone pressed to my ear, knees pulled to my chest. Alejandra had started dating Mia, and I’d called Cathia in the middle of the night, wrecked, because I couldn’t breathe with how much it hurt.
Cathia had listened, reassuring me while letting me fall apart.
“So ... I’m asking if this is what your heartreallywants, or are you only doing this because you know Alejandra doesn’t do casual relationships?”
I don’t answer right away, not because I don’t know the answer. It’s because the question feels bigger than it sounds. But the answer’s simple.
“I want this,” I say. “It’s always been her, even when I tried to pretend it wasn’t. I’ve never wanted anyone else. And I’m not doing this because she’s a serial monogamist. I genuinely want a relationship with her.”
Cathia’s face softens. She reaches over and brushes her fingers over mine. “Then I’m happy, for both of you. You both deserve something beautiful. Alejandra is my daughter, but so are you. I made a promise to Maribel to always be there, and that doesn’t change, whether you’re dating Alejandra or not.” She gives my hand a gentle squeeze. “I know this love is as true as it gets. But I also know you, and I know how your brain works. You can be a little bit of a pessimist,” she says with a smile. “So just in case you need to hear this, even if things don’t work out between you, you’re still my kid. Always will be, and I’ll be there as much for you as I am for her.”
A lump rises in my throat. I hadn’t realized how badly I’d needed her to say that. Loving Alejandra has always been terrifying, because my feelings for her have always been tangled with the fear of losing my family.
“Thanks, Mama C.” It comes out rougher than I’d expected.
“I know Maribel is happy for you two.”
I blink hard, keeping my eyes on the road. A tear slips free anyway, sliding down my cheek. I don’t say anything, just nod, hands steady on the wheel, but my heart is so whole I feel like it could explode.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
ALEJANDRA
Itold Clara I’d be home by four, but it’s already six and I’m only now walking through the front door.
Today’s shoot was a mess. One of the makeup artists showed up late, and one of our models didn’t show up at all. To top it off, I was unexpectedly slotted in for an interview withLimonright in the middle of my day. I had to pause the shoot for an hour to do it, then jump right back in.
Luckily, I managed to align it with our lunch break, so the day didn’t stretch out even longer than it already had.
In short, to say I’m tired would be a severe understatement.
I take my shoes off by the door and call out, “Clara?”
The house is darker than usual, and when I step into the dining room, I stop dead in my tracks.
