Page 14 of Last First Kiss
Isabella shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s the ‘I want to fuck you,’ vibes you and Clara ooze out every time you’re together.”
“Thewhat?” I choke out, struggling to swallow the sip of mimosa that’s now gone down the wrong pipe, sending me into a coughing fit.
Valeria immediately rushes to my side and gently pats my back.
“We do not have ‘I want to fuck you’ vibes,” Alejandra protests.
“Oh, you do.” Isabella pops a piece of cheese into her mouth. “You’ve had it for years.”
I turn to Lily, hoping she’ll throw some reasoning into this, but she smiles and nods. “You two have had us betting on when it would happen for a while.”
I take another big gulp of my mimosa, trying to wrap my head around what they’re saying. None of this is making sense. Maybe Ihavebeen that obvious.
“You guys are different with each other, more intimate than you are with us,” Lily adds.
I can’t even argue that; she’s right. We’re more physical with each other than with anyone else. But that’s how we’ve always been. It’s hard not to develop an intense emotional and physical bond with someone who was your rock and safest place during one of the darkest times of your life.
That part of our friendship didn’t change when I realized my feelings for Alejandra. We’re not any more intimate now than we were before. Or is that how it looks to me? What if I wasn’t as subtle as I’d thought? If Isabella and Lily are picking up on it, maybe everyone else is too. Did Alejandra ever pick up on it? Maybe she’s always known but wasn’t sure how to bring it up. The thought alone sends an icy shiver down my spine.
I shake my head, trying not to let myself spiral, because most of the time, it’s Alejandra who cuddles up to me, looks for me, or flirts with me. I try hard not to be the instigator because I know it’s different for me than it is for her.
I sneak a glance at Alejandra, but she’s just as confused as I am. I don’t think the idea of us together has ever crossed her mind. Something that’s both assuring and a little painful.
“So how’d it all start? Tell us everything; don’t skip any of the juicy details,” Lily says
“Or do,” Isabella adds, scrunching her nose.
Lily gently smacks her shoulder.
Alejandra sinks deeper into her chair. “There’s nothing to tell. Clara and I aren’t actually dating. Or we are, but it’s...fake. Just until after Diana’s wedding.”
They all exchange thoughtful looks but stay silent. Valeria’s eyes meet mine, gentle and full of love. And in that split second, she’s silently saying,I’m here for you.
There’s this sharp tug in my chest—a knot I can’t undo—and a tightness in my sinuses, but if I let myself dwell on it, I’m going to start crying, and I don’t know how I’ll be able to explain that. This fake relationship already feels like more than I can handle.
“Why are you guys doing this?” Valeria asks softly.
She looks between Alejandra and me, but I know she’s really asking me. It’s the question I’ve been avoiding. Because, yes, why would I put myself through this?
I explain the half-assed plan we came up with at bingo, but it sounds even more ridiculous as I say it out loud.
“What did Lala say?” Valeria asks, studying us.
“I think her exact words were ‘finally,’” Alejandra says with a little laugh.
Isabella smirks. “Can’t say I’m surprised.”
I roll my eyes, but a bit of panic stirs up in me again, churning in my stomach.
“So, how is this going to work?” Lily sounds a little worried.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“Well, have you guys talked about how long you’ve been together, when you got together, and how?”
“Why you aren’t together for real,” Isabella adds under her breath, trying—and failing—to hide the grin on her lips.
Jesus, why is Isabella pushing this so hard?
