Page 4 of Temporary Santa's Knotty Workshop
“I’m not acting weird. You’re acting weird.”
And suddenly we were back in our childhood. I lunged for him. I moved too fast for him to step out of the way, and within moments, I had him in a headlock. “Tell me.”
Nick struggled, his fists flying, trying to get enough momentum to get me to let go. I held fast. I might not have been Santa, but I could kick Santa’s ass. No one else would be able to get away with even trying. Brother privilege for the win.
“Tell me.” I held on tighter. “I can do this all day.”
“Let me go, you fucker.” He was mad. Good. Let him be, as long as he opened up to me.
Once upon a time he opened up to nobody. Then he met Percy, and he changed, for the better. Funny how getting a mate could make you a better brother, but in his case, it had.
“Tsk, tsk, Nick. Santa can’t talk like that.”
“Go fuck yourself, Campbell.”
“Maybe I will. With that tentacle dildo you dropped off last year.” My brother had done that as a joke. He wouldn’t want to hear about me actually using it. At least I was counting on that. Any edge I could get, because as much as I said I could do this all day long, my brother was just as strong and stubborn as I was. The only reason I had the upper hand right now was because I managed to surprise him. “Now tell me why you’re here.”
“I need you to cover for me while I’m on vacation. I need you to be Santa.”
I let go of him so fast that Nick fell to the ground. The powdery snow crunched under his weight. I had to have heard him wrong. There was no way he just asked me to be fucking Santa.
“You dick.” He wasn’t happy about being on the ground. As if the words out of his mouth had made me happy.
“Sorry, Bro.” I helped him to his feet. “You’re fucking with me, right? I can’t be Santa.”
“Not officially, no. But I can give you my magic temporarily. Just while I’m on vacation. Please, man. I’m desperate. All the other Santas are busy, and there is no one else.”
Give me his magic? How would that even work? And did I want it to? I had a good life here. I couldn’t imagine dropping it so I could go have one of the most stressful jobs on the planet during the busiest time of year. That was a recipe for disaster.
“One of your elves can’t do it? Surely they would be better suited than me.” At least they would know what they were getting into.
“It has to be you. You’re the only one I trust.”
Aw, fuck. I hated when he got all sentimental. We might give each other hell, but we were brothers. And at the end of the day, I trusted him more than anyone on this planet, so I got where he was coming from.
“What would I have to do?” Was I really caving this quickly? Of course I was. This was my brother. I’d do anything for him. The question was, would I be able to handle it?
“The workshop will run itself. We’re on track to get everything done on time. You would have to check the list, twice. Make sure every adult gets something naughty in their stocking.”
He left off the part where the nice list was volumes and volumes long.
“That sounds like a lot of work.” I’d probably find a way to fuck it up. There was a reason he was Santa, and I lived in the woods making videos of me chopping wood. I mean, I had a real job, sort of. But it wasn’t being Santa.
“Please, Camp. I need you. Don’t make me send Percy here to beg.”
Ugh. Like I could resist my brother-in-law. He’d turn those puppy-dog eyes on me and I’d cave. And if he thought I would say no, he’d have my nephew in tow. No person could resist that duo. It wasn’t fair.
“Fine. But you owe me.” I wasn’t sure what, but I was going to collect.
“Anything you want. I’ll custom make you a brand-new whip and paddle. Endless supply of lube for the rest of your life.”
“That’s a good start,” I said. “All right. Take me to the North Pole.”
I wasn’t sure exactly what I was getting into, but this was the first time my brother had asked anything of me in years. Of course, I was going to agree to it and do all I could to be the best Santa there was.
Please don’t let me be in over my head. If anyone deserves a stress-free vacation with his family, it’s my brother.
Chapter 3
