Page 87 of Wanted
Knox had been living with this problem since childhood, working overtime to pay for his meds while Liv’s only issue was the lack of cash for new car upholstery and booze.
“Maybe he didn’t trust me enough.”
Even saying that out loud hurt.
“He trusted you enough to get rid of a body with you,” Frank said quietly.
And then, Liv took Knox’s trust, played around with it, and threw it in his face. The empty corridor seemed to stretch on either side of them just like the time remaining until he could see Knox, and the inability to do anything about it was yet another reminder of his failures.
“I did something terrible.”
Frank stiffened and watched Liv like a hawk. “What did you do? Be honest with me. I can’t help you fix shit if you don’t tell me the truth.”
“You’ll fucking show us both the door,” Liv muttered, swallowing as he glanced Frank’s way. “We lied. When we came over, we weren’t a couple.”
Frank‘s frown deepened. “What? I knew something was off that first night.”
“But we are now,” Liv continued before Frank could have broken his eye socket with a single punch. “And I messed everything up by being an inconsiderate dick. He should have just let that bastard shoot me,” he admitted, frowning at the wayhis voice broke when he remembered the look on Knox’s face in that secondhand store.
Liv didn’t deserve his affection, or even his friendship, yet he wanted it anyway. So fucking badly.
Like he’d never wanted anything else in the world.
Frank hid his face in his hand. “What is this drama?”
“You ever flirted with someone without thinking while you were out with Ezra?” Liv asked and pulled up the sleeve of Cy’s jacket to show him the phone number written on his skin.
Frank scowled, then slapped the back of his head without much force. “Jesus Christ, Liv. Get a grip. I would have kicked your ass if I was your boyfriend.”
Boyfriend. Liv had denied even that to Knox, and now it was all he wanted, all he needed. Every time he thought back to Knox’s body losing blood all too fast and trembling against him, his heart filled with a desperate need to make sure Knox was always happy and healthy. To take care of him. The way a boyfriend would. But would Knox ever want him again?
Hewouldn’t have.
“Fuck. I’m such a dick. I just… I didn’t even know it was this serious for him. And now I’m stuck here in… fucking agony, because the future feels too vague when I can’t hold on to his hand. What the hell is wrong with me?”
“Why would you even go off flirting with some random dude when you’re on a date with your smoking-hot boyfriend who clearly cares about you enough to take a bullet for you?” Frank didn’t mince words, but Liv probably needed to hear that out loud.
“It was a girl,” Liv mumbled in a small voice, not daring to look at Frank as the words left his mouth. “She was justthere. She liked me. I wanted to check if I hadn’t… lost my charm, I guess.”
Frank cleared his throat. “Would you rather be with girls? Because if you do, you better come clean to him about it. It’s gonna fuck him up if you lead him on.”
This was happening way too fast. Liv and Knox had only gotten together less than three weeks ago. But while his first thought was that this was too little time to make such a life-changing decision, something primal inside him already knew the answer. Maybe had known it a long time ago. Or maybe seeing Knox begging for him to be there, squeezing his hand had been what made it so obvious.
Liv met Frank’s gaze and shook his head. “You know, it’s funny. I had so many girlfriends and hookups I couldn’t tell you the number, but not a single one made me feel this way. I never wanted to move in with one. Never wanted to plan my life with one. I always knew I wanted to be with Knox, even when I didn’t think we could be together… this way.
“I’d lose interest if a girlfriend wanted too much from me. Knox? I’d bend over backwards for him. Nothing is too much of a chore if it’s what he needs. I’d give him the shirt off my back and say I was too hot anyway. Hell, I gave him mine today.” He patted his chest through Cy’s jacket, reminded of the blood soaking into fabric, of Knox’s sob, of the tears Knox always hid from him the same way he hid his illness. Just like he hid away to cry after their first time together. He was like a cat pretending he wasn’t injured as it desperately looked for shelter to lick its wounds.
Liv wanted to be that place. To make Knox understand that he was safe at his side.
Frank exhaled, his severe features relaxed as he watched the wall, mulling over Liv’s disjointed confession that nevertheless felt so good.
“Sounds like you really care for him,” Frank said, shrugging. “But what that means? You need to decide for yourself. I don’t know your heart.”
Liv scowled but gave Frank’s forearm a brief squeeze, more grateful than he could have imagined. “I’ll make things right.”
Frank raised his eyebrows and pointed to Liv’s arm. “Maybe start with washing off that number.”
“Fuck,” Liv mumbled and spat on his hand before rubbing the saliva into the row of numbers.
