Page 107 of Wanted
He sank into the seat, overcome with relief. Everyone was here, Frank, Jag with Dane, Shane with Ros, even Dex and Hammer. As his eyes focused on the scene, he took note of a large table set up with various plates, bowls, and bottles, and a massive barbeque grill standing close to the trailer.
Knox spread his arms with a wide smile as soon as Liv got out of the car. “Ta-dah!”
The bright glow illuminated his face, he wore his hair in a ponytail, and his eyes shone at Liv with glee.
Liv once again glanced at the big table, unsure what this was. The music streaming from a speaker resting on a bench against Dex’s hip didn’t make anything clearer. “Are you… partying?” The without me was silent, because while he would never banKnox from enjoying himself when he could, but he’d counted on an hour of alone time. He felt numb with disappointment when Knox gave him a tight hug.
“No.Weare partying,” Knox said, pulling away enough to look into Liv’s face. “I got you the night off and arranged for everyone to come to ours. I’ve got rabbit on the grill, I made potato mash, and Ezra’s coming with turkey any minute now.”
Liv’s thoughts came to an abrupt halt, and he rested his hands on his hips. “You what? Went behind my back?” After a glance Frank’s way, Liv lowered his voice leaning in. “You know we need all the cash we can get.”
Deep down, Liv welcomed this change, because yes, he missed being able to have fun, but he had obligations. He’d committed to saving Knox at all cost, and couldn’t afford the club thinking twice before giving him work.
Knox's expression soured, and he rolled his eyes as if this wasn't a big deal. "Come on… It's just one night. It won’t change much.”
Not really, because the club paid double for holiday shifts.
Liv nodded toward the trailer. “Can we have a word?”
Disappointment passed over Knox’s features, drawing Liv into the sad depths of his eyes. This was meant to be a nice surprise. And Liv had ruined it by not being happy.
“Sure,” Knox muttered and led the way past their friends. The scent of meat was making Liv salivate, but as desperately as he wanted to relax with his man and friends, the money for Knox’s surgery should take priority over everything else. Was this… sabotage?
Liv let him go inside first and then closed the door behind them, his tongue dry as he stepped into the kitchen area and met Knox’s gaze.
“Why?” He asked as soon as they were alone.
Knox stuffed his hands down his pockets and avoided his gaze. “What do you not like?”
Fuck.
“Look, I can see you thought this was a good idea, but you should have talked to me first. They were going to pay me double for tonight, and now someone else is going to snatch that gig.”
“Yeah, but that’s not the only point of your life, and you’re gonna win the race next month anyway.”
Liv dragged his hands down his face, increasingly antsy, as if fire was climbing up his legs. “It might not be enough. The surgery needs to be a priority, and every bit counts. Not to mention that I mightnotwin,” he added as a sense of doom settled in his chest, making his body heavy as lead.
Knox looked up with fire in his eyes. “Okay, so maybe you won’t. Then we’ll find another way to get the money. My shoulder’s better every day, and I need you for more than just earning more cash.”
Liv stalled, breathing deeply to calm down, because Knox clearly had good intentions. “Right now, itiswhat I should focus on.”
Knox stepped closer and slid his hands to Liv’s cheeks, his eyes bright and wild, as if there were burning pits somewhere at the bottom of his pupils. “No.Youare important to me. You’re already working so much. I don’t want to regret time not spent together. Life can’t be just surviving, Liv.”
The touch, while warm, made Liv freeze with indecision. “Are you saying that… you just want me here?” he asked softly.
“No. Ineedyou here.” Knox stroked his face with his thumbs and leaned in for a kiss. “You do so much already. You gotta let me take care of you. I can’t get it out of my head that you said you felt like a nobody. You’re not. You’remysomebody. And you’ve got friends here too. You matter.”
Warmth enveloped Liv like a charm cast by Knox’s sweet lips, and he pulled him close, letting himself enjoy this moment as the earlier anger simmered down. “I’m sorry. I try to always have time for you. Every day.”
“You do more than enough. But I need you to enjoy life with me too, not just see me as a problem to fix.” When Knox hugged him, Liv gave himself into his care, knowing that there was nothing he wanted more than to be needed by this man. Always. Forever. To nevereverdisappoint him.
But it seemed he’d done it again.
“You’re not a problem,” he whispered, turning his face so he could bury it in the blond hair smelling of mint and familiarity. He felt at home with Knox, no matter where they were, and maybe there was some truth to what he was saying? Maybe Liv had been so focused on solving an issue that he forgot that they both only had so much time? He took a deep breath of Knox. “I’m just… so powerless. I keep thinking what happens if I don’t win the race. If you can’t have the surgery on time. And when I work… I know I’m not earning thousands an hour, but at least I’m doingsomething, you know?”
“I know. I get it. But pleasebewith me too. If there’s another shootout one day, if something goes sideways, I don’t want either of us ending up thinking of the time we didn’t spend together when we could have. And you’re going back to work tomorrow. Let me treat you, okay? Enjoy the evening, because we don’t get many like this.”
The ache deep in Liv’s chest made him fall deeper into Knox’s arms as guilt coiled around them, souring the sense of closeness. It was impossible not to think back to the time when Knox lay injured and bleeding and Liv had no idea how the night would end.
