Page 79 of A Pawn in the Game
He listens with rapt attention, as if absorbing every fact I throw at him. The dogs have moved from my lap, deciding to have a peaceful sleep on the thick, plush carpet, rather than wake up each time I think of another fact to share. Every couple of minutes, his phone buzzes again. With each declined call, his patience thins, until he ultimately holds the side button long enough to turn the whole thing off and glances back at me.
The look he gives me unnerves me, which only makes me talk more. His eyes are wrinkled at the sides, exuding inexplicable warmth. I remember that look. It’s the look mom used to give me when I started one of my brain dumps. She’d used to tell me she loves me right after I was done with the rant. My heart thumps louder in my chest as my brain swims with emotion.
My ramblings stop, coherent thoughts becoming too hard to come by. I wet my suddenly dry lips and his gaze sticks to the movement of my tongue. My cheeks burn. My breathing quickens, but I’m rooted to the spot.
He frees me from my torment, slipping a hand to the back of my head and pulling me in for a kiss. Strawberries are the first thing I taste as the soft pillows of his lips connect to mine. It reminds me of the delicious food we ate, food he ordered not just for me but to try it himself. The sudden silence, interrupted only by the sound of my heavy breathing, reminds me of how he listened to me go on and on about a random topic of interest, fully into what I was saying.Alan.He took care of Alan. My insides turn to mush as he draws me closer, enveloping me in his giant arms, a place I feel safest.
The usually deafeningly loud halls of my mind are quiet, his touch taking the anxiety away. Our tongues dance together, a slow but passionate rhythm, and while my nipples tighten and liquid pools between my thighs, this doesn’t feel like sex. It feels like more.
Like love.
The realization slams into me, blurring all remnants of my reason. I know all the arguments. All the pros and cons. But my heart is stronger than my head.
I’m practically shaking as he ends the kiss, our foreheads still fused together. I nestle my cheek into his palm, daring myself to look up.
His dark eyes are swimming with love. It might be the reflection of my own eyes staring back at me, but I see it so clearly. Like I can see straight into his soul.
It’s what makes me say, “I think I love you.”
I’m not even sure my voice was audible, but by the shock clear on his face, he definitely heard it. My breath hitches, waiting for his response.
Just as he opens his mouth to say something, the door swingsopen with a loudbang. I gasp, turning toward it, only to see two men entering the apartment.
It takes me a second to recognize it’s Leon and Marko. Relief floods me, but it’s short-lived when I notice the angry look on Leon’s face.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” he roars, staring daggers at Luka. “I’ve been trying to reach you for an hour, and you’ve been canoodling with the girl we fucking kidnapped?”
Luka’s jaw twitches. “Watch your words,brate.”
The dogs jerk awake, obviously confused by what is going on. Their heads drop back down once they realize everyone here is a friend. At least to them.
“I can’t fucking believe this. We finally have an in. We’re supposed to be destroying the Russians right now, and what the hell are you doing?”
Luka gets up and stands in front of me, shielding me from the eyes of the two guys blaming me on everything. His muscles are tight, his fists rolled. “You wouldn’t understand…” He shakes his head.
“Damn right I wouldn’t. Family is supposed to come first.” Leon lets out a loud sigh. “We don’t have time for this. We need to go.” His sharp angles are weary from exhaustion. “Marko, take her back to the dungeon. We’ll deal with her later.”
“I don’t think so.” Luka stands taller, blocking the overhead light.
“We know where they are, Luka. If you pull your head out of your ass, we can solve all our fucking problems. Get our business back on track and avenge our father.”
Leon’s words cut into me. I know Luka doesn’t want to leave me alone. But he’d never forgive himself for putting his family second.
“I…” I try to say, but nothing comes out, so I try again. “I’ll go with Marko.” Luka turns to me, his brows furrowed. “I’m serious. You go deal with that.”
“Great. Now that that’s settled, we can go.” Leon’s voice drips sarcasm, but Luka doesn’t spare him a glance.
“I’ll be fine,” I tell him quietly, mustering all the strength I have.
“I’ll be back. We’ll talk about this,” Luka says. Reluctantly, he steps back, letting Leon drag him into the elevator. Marko gestures his head toward my shoes, and I make quick work of putting them on. Alan rushes to the door, and I pretend I don’t know him, hesitant to let Marko know he’s mine. Luka kept it a secret for a reason. I make a promise to myself to come back for him. Marko is silent as we get to the car and drive back to the club, but it helps me get my mind in order.
Family is everything to Luka. And I was almost responsible for jeopardizing it.
Fuck, I told him I loved him. What the hell was I thinking?
Not that it’s not the truth. Now that it’s out there, it looks like the clearest truth out of everything I keep in my brain. But still, it was reckless. He has a mafia war to win. I can’t distract him with my love declarations. I exhale a long breath. If I know anything about him, he’s riddled with guilt about making me fall in love with him.
Especially since he doesn’t feel the same. I don’t expect him to. He’s too level-headed for that. But I shouldn’t have put him in danger, screaming my feelings into the universe.
