Page 75 of A Pawn in the Game
“But I am wondering if you know what you’re doing.”
I ignore him, trying to pretend I don’t know what he means.
“I know you, Luka. And this… this obsession you have with her. I’m not sure now’s the right time.”
I scoff. He acts like I chose it. “Are you questioning my abilities or my loyalty?”
“How do you see this ending?”
My hand grips the edge of the desk, turning white. He hit a nerve.
“Do you think this will end well? For her?” he continues.
I swallow the lump in my throat as a fresh wave of guilt hits me. “I don’t know.” I drop my head into my hands.
“Well, figure it out.” He taps my desk with his index finger and leaves the room.
CHAPTER 37
Luka
Sophie sleeps peacefully next to me while I chew on Ivan’s words. He’s right. I want to set her free, but I don’t know how to do that and keep her safe. I want to be with her, but I’m still her captor and I can’t even offer her freedom.
What do I offer her, other than release? Other than the sweet but superficial pleasure as her body climaxes.
I rub a hand over my face, my eyes drooping with exhaustion. Releasing her would be too dangerous. But maybe I could offer her some normalcy. I can hardly take her out in public, but maybe we could go somewhere private. Just to break her routine. To give her some comfort.
Maybe I can take her to my place.
My mouth dries as I second guess the idea.
If I took her back to my place, the secret would be out. She’d look at me through rose-colored glasses again, and it’s the last thing I’d want. She shouldn’t see me as a hero because I sure as hell don’t feel like one.
But she deserves to feel some joy. And there’s no better way to do that than to show her who I’m hiding at my place.
In the early morning hours, a plan forms in my head, and I drift offto sleep.
The day passes in a blur, my commitments multiplying by the hour. With the trouble that the Russians stirred up for us, our business is currently an organizational nightmare. Finding space for the drop offs, as well as keeping our merchandise, finding new distributers for the coke we’ve lost, it’s all a fucking mess.
But by the time the evening rolls in, I decide I’m done with it. Business will still be here tomorrow.
Letting out a relieved breath, I exit my car in front of the club. The crowd inside is smaller today, surely because of the closed back room. I nod to the waitress and make my way to the dungeon.
Sophie and Ivan are at the small desk, playing chess. Ivan’s eyes dart up at me instantly, while Sophie takes a second to turn her head around. A pang of something blooms in my stomach. Ivan is my closest friend. I trust him with my life. I trust him withherlife. But to see them having fun together, it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.
The bitterness evaporates as Sophie’s expression turns softer and vastly happier when she notices me. Her lips pull up into the smallest of smiles and her eyes crinkle at the sides, a barely perceptible spark glowing within them. My muscles relax and my skin warms, as if covered in sunshine on a warm spring day. We stare at each other like two dumbstruck fools before Ivan clears his throat.
His eyes are narrowed, and it’s obvious he notices the moment between us, whatever the hell it was. “I didn’t expect you back tonight,” he says.
“Well, I’m here. You’re free to go.” I slip my hands into my pockets, feigning nonchalance while my heart leaps in my chest. It’s a feeling completely unknown to me. To be honest, I’m not sure if it’s a fully comfortable feeling. But I still crave it.
Ivan dips his head and lifts from his chair, grabbing his jacketoff the armchair near the wall. “Have a good night, Sophie.Šefe,” he greets me, shaking his head subtly.
I pat his shoulder on his way out. He doesn’t approve of whatever Sophie and I have. But he still has my back. There’s no doubt in my mind he won’t be telling Leon.
“Hi.” Sophie’s quiet voice yanks me out of my thoughts.
My hands itch with the need to have her close, to wrap around her frame, but I stay rooted to the spot. We’re not really like that. I’m here to give her release. The last thing I want is to blur the lines for her, making the whole thing even more difficult. Never mind, the lines have been completely erased for me. I’m not even sure where they used to lie anymore.
