Page 56 of A Pawn in the Game
“That’s one way to put it.”
Once again, she chuckles and I glance at Ivan, checking his reaction. She follows my gaze and smacks her lips.
“Ivan, dear…” His head lifts. “Could you give us a few minutes? Maybe you could grab us some lunch?” I just finished breakfast, so it’s an obvious ploy to get him out of here, but I don’t mind the effort.
He stares at her, obviously not happy with the suggestion, but she stares right back, not showing a hint of hesitation. At that moment, I decide I like her.
Ultimately, he nods and exits the room.
“Don’t be afraid of Ivan. He might seem scary, but he’s really a teddy bear. Super protective, as well.” Her eyes widen with excitement, her love for him obvious.
“He’s been decent, actually. He’s one of the good ones.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard.” Nina winces, surprising me. Does she really know everything?
“Are you…” I weigh my words. “A part of the mafia?”
“Who? Me?” Soft laughter fills the room, and I’d guess it’s the first time it’s ever echoed with this particular sound. “No, of course not. But Ivan tells me things. He knows I’m his ride or die.”
“So, you know Luka?”
“He’s kind of hard not to notice, isn’t he?” The smirk she shoots me sends heat to my cheeks. Of course, she realized he’s hot. She’d be blind not to.
“I-I guess,” I try to play it off.
“I’m sorry. Here I am, joking about this, and you’re kidnapped by the guy.” Her expression turns solemn. “He didn’t hurt you, didn’t he?”
“No! No, of course not.”
She side-eyes me, as if gauging my reaction. “Good. But I’m still sorry someone did.”
“He…took care of it.”
“So I’ve heard. Beaten him to death in a fit of passionate rage.” She bites the inside of her bottom lip, staring at me like she’s checking for clues.
“He disobeyed him.”
“Hmm.” She agrees, though she’s still eyeing me warily.
I wait for her to speak, but she doesn’t. She lifts the cup to hermouth again and releases a loud sigh after taking a sip. My mind works overtime. Her assessing me is unnerving.
Finally, she breaks the silence. “Want to talk about it?”
My thoughts overflow, any filters I had long gone. “We had sex, and I wanted it to hurt. And he makes me feel safe, which is ridiculous since he’s the reason I’m in this place. When he left, I wanted to beg him to stay. I don’t know why I’m thinking the way I am. And I hyper focused on Stockholm Syndrome for like a week a few years back, reading every study on it, but this doesn’t feel like it. Then, of course, that’s what every person with Stockholm syndrome would think, too.”
She stares at me wide-eyed while waiting for my mental diarrhea to finish. She blinks a few times before saying, “I meant the assault. Do you want to talk about the assault?”
My mouth parts on an ‘oh’, my face turning crimson. “No, thank you,” I respond, swallowing.
I never had the chance to talk about my trauma with someone other than Alex. Therapy would’ve likely been a gamechanger for me in my teens, but how to explain what happened without endangering myself more? Without landing Dad in prison and myself in foster care? Nope, I had to keep everything in. I had to learn how to be my own therapist, which I’m pretty sure is highly unethical.
“So, you and Luka? That explains the fit of passionate rage.”
“It doesn’t make any sense.”
“Look. I may not know Luka intimately,” she emphasizes the word, shooting me a pointed look, “but I know enough to know this wasn’t his typical behavior. Luka is calculated. He’s a businessman first. This was… emotional at best. Stupid at worst. They’re at war with the Russians. And their uncle is trying to take over the throne to the empire. Killing one of his men, whew. There’ll be some serious consequences.” My gaze drops to the side, so she quickly backtracks. “Not that it’s any of your fault. Honestly, I don’t know how you do it. Being locked in here, never seeing the light of day.”
I don’t tell her that my every outing before the kidnapping was heavily planned to fight my ever-growing anxiety. I don’t tell her Alex had to force me for drinks every time she came to the city because I never felt safe anywhere.
