Page 3 of The Opposite of Romance
David from ten years ago would embrace me and never let go. He would hold me until my tears dry, and he’d tell me everything would be ok.
I guess it wouldn’t make much sense now. He hasn’t touched me in God knows how long, even when I begged him to. Why would he do that now when we’re not together?
Still, my touch-starved heart breaks every time I feel his rejection. Every time it remembers it’s not loved.
I breathe in deeply, trying to push the tears back. Asher and Olivia are already in their new rooms, excited squeals filling the cracks of my broken heart.
Asher’s room is the first door on the right at the top of the staircase. I walk in to find him jumping on his bed, his mop of brown hair bouncing as he tries to catch the rocket ship ceiling lamp. Other than his favorite night sky sheets, the dark blue paint job on the walls, and a large wooden toy box in one corner of the room, it’s the only décor so far.
“Come on, Ash. Don’t knock it down on the first day,” I say, smiling. This whole thing is a lot for them, and I just want to see them happy.
“Fine.” He shrugs. “I want to see Liv’s room.” He bounds off to the hallway and I follow behind.
Olivia stands in the middle of the room, wide-eyed. Unlike her previous baby pink room, this one is much more her. Onewall is painted in an accent deep purple while the others are light gray. Her bed is black metal with purple sheets and black throw pillows adorned with quirky designs. In the corner, a black reading chair hangs from the ceiling.
Liv’s not a girlie girl. We never got around to repainting the walls of her old room, but I knew she didn’t really like the princess style.
“You like it?” I approach her, letting my arm brush against hers.
“I love it,” she whispers, making my heart beat faster. “Can I put my drawings up on the walls?”
“Of course. I’ve ordered a cork board so you can easily display them, but it hasn’t arrived yet.”
She beams at me and a part of me relaxes. She’s going to be ok. We’re going to be ok.
“Can we go for a swim in our pool?” Asher asks, and I chuckle.
“I don’t think so, Ash. First of all, it’s April. And it’s also time for you to go to bed.” He groans. “Come on, I’ve unpacked a tiny portion of your stuff, so your pajamas are in your closets. Please get ready for bed, and tomorrow we can put up more decorations in your rooms.”
I enter my mocha-colored room, determined to unpack at least a few of my own things before bed. Asher storms in three minutes later in his astronaut pajamas with the speed only a six-year-old can have.
“Your teeth?” I ask, and he grins at me, showing me how well he brushed them. “Good. Your sister?”
“Still in the bathroom.” He shrugs. It’s not a surprise. She’s only ten but takes ages in the bathroom.
“Come on, let’s get you to bed.”
“I don’t think I can sleep alone tonight.” His green eyes, like his father’s, stare at me pleadingly. Usually, he’s not a fussy sleeper, but this is a new house, after all.
“Wanna join me?” I shoot him a smile, and his face brightens up. In a second, he’s already lying on my king-size bed.
“What do you say, Liv?” I continue when she exits the bathroom. “Want to join us for a family sleepover?”
She has my gray eyes, and they’re stunned for a second before she gives me a subtle nod. “Can we watchCoco?” she asks, climbing into bed with us.
“Sure,” I respond, my face relaxing. I opted to put a TV in my bedroom, and I’m glad because they’re knocked out ten minutes into the movie. I know that repressing your feelings is not the best idea, but I’m glad to know that their first night in the new house wasn’t tainted with overthinking about everything they’ve lost.
With the two of them in my arms, even my own brain relaxes enough to fall asleep.
Chapter Two
Stella is sleepingin her stroller while Sandy and I soak up the April sun on a picnic blanket in my backyard. The spring break ended, and Asher and Olivia started their new school today.
“How were they?” Sandy asks. She’s finally feeling better, and looking more like herself, though the bags under her eyes tell me just how much sleep she’s been getting with a newborn baby.
“Ash was mostly excited; Liv was mostly indifferent.”
“And you?” She looks at me pointedly.
