Page 67 of Give Me a Chance
“No, thank you.” A tiny, hormonal, bleeding part of me wants to beg him to stay, but luckily the rest of me is sane enough to stop it.
Before leaving, he cleans up the coffee table, all the containers, wrappers, and tissues because, of course, he does. Another bad cramp hits me, like my womb is mad at me for not begging him to stay and make everything better.
But I know better. Even good guys will break you. And comfort isn’t worth the trauma.
26
MATT
We’ve made progress.
I can hardly believe it, but we made actual progress.
She let me in. She was in pain, and probably drugged out, but she let me in for a day. She even asked me to stay longer, in a way. And there was no sex involved.
Managing my expectations is a feat since I want to scream ‘I’m the king of the world’ off the top of my lungs. Cheesy, I know. But it’s who I am.
It’s familiar, unlike this new, sexually devious part of me. I considered myself vanilla, and I was happy with it, but now I have these new needs and ideas I don’t know what to do with.
They make my heart beat faster, but also make me uncomfortable, in a way. They are so far removed from the notions I previously held.
I quickly decide to shoot a text to Connor.
Me:
Any chance you’re free for a beer?
Connor:
When?
Now?
Me:
Yup.
Don’t worry if you can’t, but if you’re free let me know.
Connor:
See you in 15.
He sends me location to the bar close to their house. I grab my wallet and keys and head out.
I arrive first, and he joins me in the brown leather booth a few minutes later.
“Hey, man. Thanks for coming out. Sorry for the late notice.”
“No problem. We were just hanging out around the house.” We each order a beer. “What’s up?”
“Uhm. Things with Natalie . . . progressed.”
“In which way?”
“Well...” I keep the emotional headway to myself, the notion too fragile to let out into the harsh universe. “Our sex has gotten...more adventurous.” Heat creeps up my neck.
“Yeah, you mentioned the breath play. How was that, by the way?” His eyes are supportive, so I take a sip of my beer and put on my big boy pants.
