Page 68 of Give Me a Chance
“It was fucking incredible. She went crazy for it, and the trust she gave me made me that much hotter.” He nods in understanding.
“If you both liked it, what’s the problem?”
“It’s not just that.” Once again, my cheeks burn so I clear my throat before continuing. “This week, she was driving me insane. Teasing me with nudes and dropping her panties into my pocket.” I swipe a hand over my face. “She pushed me so far. I wanted to punish her. Needed to punish her.”
“So, what did you do?”
“Uhm...I tied her up,” I look around the bar, “and made her come four times without touching her with anything other than a vibrator.” He lets out a chuckle. “It’s not funny,” I whisper-yell.
“I’m not laughing. This,” he points a finger at his face, “is my proud face.”
I throw a crumpled napkin at his face.
“I’m serious,” he says. “Come on.” He suddenly gets up, drops a twenty onto the table and heads to the door. I follow behind as he gets into his car and motions for me to do the same. Seems like following people in their cars is a thing for me these last couple of weeks.
Not even five minutes later, we park in front of his house.
“Why are we here?” I ask as I close my car door.
“It’s not me who you need talk to about this with. You wouldn’t believe me, anyway.” I stare at his back before heading inside. No idea why I wouldn’t believe him.
“Hi, baby,” he says to Rina and lays a passionate kiss on her lips. She’s left flushed and flustered as she notices me and pulls me into a hug.
“Matt, you’re here!” Eric throws me a high five.
“Just for a little while,” Connor tells him before leading him into the living room, promising he can watch his favorite show if he lets the grown-ups talk for ten minutes.
“What’s up Matt? How are you?” Rina asks.
“Not sure. Your husband tricked me into coming here, so I might be a bit scared?” She laughs, and Connor punches myshoulder. I sit on a stool next to their kitchen island while Rina works on dinner.
“He needs to talk to you,” Connor says. “Mattie here has discovered some new things about himself.” I look between them as a silent conversation transpires. “And he’s dealing with some shame in the process.” Rina’s mouth parts on a silent ‘oh’ like she knows exactly what he’s talking about from these awfully ambiguous sentences.
She looks at me, eyes full of understanding. “I had a hard time myself. You have these needs, these desires, and society tells you it’s wrong to have them.” She gets back to peeling potatoes while Connor steps beside her and joins the prep. “You feel like you shouldn’t have them, like they should remain hidden, while the truth is, they’re nothing to be ashamed about.” Her eyes connect to mine.
“It’s not just shame,” I almost whisper. “It’s also fear. Fear my silly wishes are hurting someone else.”
“Well, are they? Have you, Matt Anderson, ever knowingly done something to another person that the person hasn’t consented to?”
“No.”
“Look, these kinds of things are about trust. Do you trust the other person to make decisions about their body, to tell you what they want and when it gets too much?”
“Yes.”
“Do you trust yourself to respect that?”
“Of course, I do.” I wince. When she puts it that way, it sounds simple.
“Then that’s all there is. I know you, Matt. I know the gentleman you are and strive to be. But can you respect a woman if you don’t respect her desires? If you don’t respect her decisions? If you’re into it, of course. Are you?”
“Yeah, I think I am.” My gaze trails down to the floor.
“I don’t see a problem, then. How is my best friend, by the way?” I huff out a laugh.
“Feeling better.” She gives me a knowing nod and gets back to making dinner.
“I’m going to get out your hair,” I say, standing up.
