Page 19 of Give Me a Chance
“Whatever. You don’t believe me.”
“It’s not that, Nats,” Rina says. “But I’ve never seen you this way about a guy. So maybe there’s something more there.” Her voice is soft and considerate, like I’m a delicate flower and not a strong female warrior.
“You know how I am when it comes to mixing business with pleasure. It’s messy, and I don’t like it.”
“I know. And you have every right to have your boundaries. We’ll support you no matter what.”
Knowing me too well, Rina switches the topic, letting me be. I’m glad I told them. I don’t like keeping secrets from them, but some secrets are mine to keep.
By the time I get home, I’m feeling better, so I eat only half a pint of summer berry cake pop ice cream, while watching random Netflix documentaries.
Lying in bed, I realize the best thing to forget about having sex with Matt would be sex with someone else. So, I open my Tinder and within a half an hour; I got a date set up for the weekend.
Screw you, Matt Anderson. I can date and fuck whoever I want.
12
MATT
The mediocre dates I had turned subpar after the first night I spent with Natalie. Since I started working with her, I find it hard to put her out of my mind long enough to focus on dating.
So, as Hinge Lucy sits across from me, I try to be present in our conversation and not think about the girl that brings nothing but trouble.
I manage to catch that Lucy is a first-grade teacher. She’s also cute with her pearly-white smile, kind eyes, and wavy blonde shoulder-length hair. Her bio says she’s looking to settle down and have kids.
“So, what do you like to do in your free time?” she asks with a hopeful smile.
“I’m a kids’ hockey coach a few times a week.” I shrug, but it’s enough to give her heart-eyes. I know there’s belief that girls like bad boys, but I never had trouble in that department. “How about you?”
“Oh, I love dogs. So usually on weekends, I volunteer at the dog shelter.” She shrugs, a shy smile on her face.
“That sounds cool.”
She continues telling me all about her favorite dogs in the shelter and how she’d love to adopt them.
She’s perfect.
Except, I’m not feeling her. My heart isn’t pumping wildly, blood hasn’t rushed downstairs, and my brain is listening to her out of pure politeness.
I ask a few more casual questions, trying to keep normal conversation.
“Let me walk you home.” I offer when we finish our meal, knowing she lives close by. She eagerly accepts.
“This is me.” She points after a five-minute walk. “You’re welcome to join me for a drink, if you’d like.”
“Sorry, I’ve got an early morning tomorrow, but I’ll text you one of these days. OK?”
“Umm, sure. I had a great evening.” Her eyebrows squish together, and I feel like shit.
“Me too. Have a good night.” I hug her, once again confusing her. She was obviously expecting a kiss.
I don’t want to give her false hope. So, tomorrow I’ll send her a polite text saying I had a great time, but my mind is stuck on someone else. Even if it wasn’t, I don’t do one-night stands, typically.
Thatonenight, ok, twonights, were the exception. I don’t do detached sex; I want to have feelings for the person I’m with.
Meaning, I hadn’t had a ton of sexual partners, and the sex part was kind of bleak. I thought it was the way it went, in committed relationships. Probably up until I witnessed Rina and Connor’s relationship with anything other than a boring sex life. I guess witnessed is the wrong word, since there are people whoactually witnessedtheir sex life, but I heard about it.
Rina and Connor frequent a sex club called L&L, where they engage in various private, public, and group activities. It’s aplace that rekindled their love for each other, and no matter my judgy thoughts, I can’t deny they’re a couple I envy.
