Page 26 of A Subtle Scar
He crossed his arms. “How’s this, I buy you one, and you buy me one, and no one tries flirting with the server.”
I considered that. Of course, it could be some sort of trap by which Hermes meant to ridicule me, but I was annoyed enough to risk it.
“Fine,” I said. “I assume we’re crossing the street together?”
He gave me that lopsided grin that could bring people to their knees for him. It was a good grin.
“Of course. Can’t have you run back up there.”
“Or you.”
He snorted. “Oh, Ronny. I’d teleport.”
Oh, fuck him and his lopsided grin.
We were on our third bubble tea, and I failed to see the appeal. The tea shop had tables built right against the large glass walls in the front, so at least we had a clear view of the entrance to Chandler’s apartment building.
I glanced over at Hermes. He was on his phone. Just like about everyone else in here.
“What are you doing? I thought we were watching to see if that herb witch came here to seduce Chandler.”
“I trust you can do that while I research recipes,” Hermes said while never even looking up from his screen.
I sucked on the metal straw of my tea. There was supposedly Oolong somewhere in there, but all I tasted was sugar and hazelnut milk.
“Why are you researching recipes?”
“Because what if he wants me to cook for him again, and it’s not the morning? I’m really good at making breakfast, but I never bothered much with dinner. What if he wants to have dinner but not go out? What then? I can’t serve the man fucking pasta and some canned tomato sauce.”
“You could go to a cooking class. Who knows, maybe you even meet an interesting human among the pots and pans, and meanwhile, I can keep Chandler company.” I sipped more of the sugared hazelnut milk. It was disturbing that Hermes was thinking about dinner and cooking for Chandler all of a sudden. Hermes had skills, and those skills were all about hitting on people in dark clubs, where his character could shine, giving them a splendid night of pleasure, and then it was wash, rinse, repeat the next night.
“I am not taking a class. I have excellent recall, and I’m memorizing these recipes as we speak.”
“Tell me, does this herb witch really exist?” I asked.
Hermes looked up finally. “Of course he is real. And boring. And freckled. And he definitely wants some of what Chandler has.” Hermes reached for his tea—green tea and lemon—and noisily slurped the remainder at the bottom of the glass.
“If the herb witch is human, there are things we can do. An herb witch might get lost in an otherrealm. Those things have always happened, and he might enjoy it there,” I said. Of course, I was working on the assumption that the herb witch wasn’t the kind of person that would cherish Chandler like he should be cherished. And I would be doing the herb witch a favor, because all the growing things in the otherrealms would fascinate anyone who liked growing things.
“I don’t know,” Hermes said.
I cocked my head because that was surprising. If anyone should have been on board with this, it was Hermes. “Why don’t you know? I seem to remember you dropped people into otherrealms for their insulting you at bars.”
He nodded. “Yes, but that was then. I talked to Lucy to ask what one had to do to get a human.”
“Lucy’s lover is a demigod.”
“Yes, but that one lived a human life until recently. Lucy was going on and on about deals, but he kept saying things about how he considered Chandler a friend. And what if Chandler asks Lucy where the herb witch is, and they go on some rescue mission together, and then that brings them closer?”
I dropped my head. “Well, Chandler is in law enforcement, so it would follow protecting humans is something near and dear to him.”
Hermes tilted his head. “He’s in law enforcement? When did he tell you that?”
Oh, this idiot of a god. “He didn’t tell me that, but I asked about him at the party last night. How else did you think he knows Lionel?”
Hermes shrugged his very broad shoulders. “They’re both strong in the human magic, and if you sort of squint, Lucy and Chandler look a little bit alike. I thought he and Lionel might have been fucking in the past.”
“Once more, there is only one thing you can think about.”
