The pile came closer, and—
“Fuck. Oh no. Those’re bones.”
“A very nice skull,” Coral said.
“Human, we think,” the blond hive said.
“Service updates are always a mixed bag, am I right?” Conrad said as he and Xander put down the vat.
“Yes,” the female voice said while the thing still approached. “I remember you. You’re not food or faculty and not a student either, but I’ve once made spores myself, and I enjoyed that. Will yours take root in Farrow’s body like ours did in hers?”
And because life wasn’t creepy enough, that thing grew or stretched upward, and the skull stuck into it like a diamond in a piece of rock moved as well until it was on eye level.
Had that been a person, and had this thing…colonized her?
“Goodness, I should hope not,” Farrow said.
“And it’s not exactly spores, but close enough.”
“Aaah,” the thing that was a mound said. As it deflated, I spotted a speaker that sat in its…body? The closest thing I’d ever seen that was like it was moss. Moss didn’t normally move around though or come in this massive size. “Are these others…food?”
“No, IT, although we did bring you food,” Farrow said. “But perhaps introductions first? Leopold, come here, you mustn’t be shy. You are colleagues.”
The mound rippled excitedly, and from its shapeless body, it extended…a skeletal hand. Bones for fingers, gray-white knuckles. I shivered.
“Leopold, I know. Are you the Secretary Hill Leopold? Or another? The identifier is assigned to several at this institution, though all but the secretary are students.”
“I-I-I… Yeah. Hi. That’s me, the secretary. Do you mind if we don’t shake hands? I’m a bit of a germaphobe.”
“That’s fine.” The skeleton hand vanished back into the mound’s blob-like body. “Did you get the gift of thanks I sent? It is because of you I didn’t have to leave this sweet darkness to turn off Farrow’s computer before turning it back on again. I sent you water and sugar. I know human growth likes both.”
“Human growth? I mean, yeah, it was great. Loved the water.”
“I like water as well. I can send you more. Things are always cheaper online when you order in bulk, and one-day shipping is wonderful when the air gets too dry.”
“Oh wow, so generous. Erm. This is my hive. They help me with my work here.”
The mound held out its bone hand again. “Hello. You are attracted to fluorescence, aren’t you?”
My hive, being badass, shook that bone hand. “Yes, you could say that.” One of them stroked my back.
A thumping noise from the vat interrupted the bonding I was doing with…the school’s IT department.
“Oh, dearie, the food is awake,” Farrow said.
A ripple went through the mound. “You bring me food that is alive? Farrow, I would give you my spores in thanks.”
“Y’aint fucking going to put your spores anywhere near him,” Conrad said.
A sound like joints popping echoed from the mound. Laughter?
“I can contain myself, but I am grateful. May I have a look?”
“Knock yourself out.”
Conrad opened the vat and put it on its side.
“Oh! This is lovely! This food will last us a long time, a long, long time.”