Page 80 of Guiding Desire
Orrey screamed. And he came. He couldn’t have prevented either, his body just rushing and reacting without him being able to control any of it.
He looked down in shock, made a weird sound, embarrassment and pleasure mingling.
“Aaah…”
Orrey gasped. Watched. Senlas watched back, his mouth working, his throat swallowing. Some of the cum had escaped his lips, but the predatory expression in those blue eyes made it abundantly clear that was the only bit of escaping about to happen that night.
“S-s-s-sorry,” Orrey said.
Senlas never broke eye contact. He opened his mouth wider, and to Orrey’s utter shock, he swallowed all of him in one smooth glide.
Orrey’s head fell back, and his spine arched. His mouth was open, but the scream muffled by the jolt of pleasure. Senlas pulled off, allowing Orrey some reprieve.
“Sorry for what, kitten? You don’t have to last long the first time.” He cocked his head. “Conduits generally are multi-orgasmic. More so than Guardians. You knew that, right?”
He was wiping his chin while he said that, his voice barely roughened from what he’d just done, and he was still kneeling between Orrey’s legs.
Orrey shook his head. “N-no?”
“You mean, you never tried more than once with a partner? Or yourself?”
Orrey felt out of his depth all of a sudden. Unworthy. In the wrong place. Not suitable.What if I cannot satisfy him? What if he hates me for everything I lack when it comes to sex?
The tears came with about the same force as the orgasm had, and they were no less embarrassing. Before he curled away and buried his face in the pillows, Orrey saw Senlas’s eyes go wide, saw the shocked expression on the Guardian’s face.
“Shit, kitten. Shh.” Senlas moved up, lay down next to Orrey, and wrapped him both in his arms and soft sheets that smelled of Senlas. Orrey was glad, pressing his knees together in embarrassment. “Oh, Orrey, tell me what’s wrong. What did I say? Shh. Everything’s fine, kitten.”
Orrey didn’t manage to speak. He couldn’t stop himself from crying, and he cried like he hadn’t in years, maybe ever. The tears and sobs wracking his body came like avalanches, one after the other. Senlas didn’t move a millimeter, and his hold was firm. He cooed, whispered assurances against Orrey’s hair.
The whole embarrassing episode lasted the better part of an hour. It left Orrey absolutely drained, all soft, arms and legs gone floppy.
“Feeling a bit better?” Senlas asked.
He was turning Orrey’s face so he could look at it. Orrey had no energy to resist even though he just wanted to hide in shame. He managed a nod.
“Good. You stay here, and I’ll get you something to drink, okay? Then I’ll hold you till you fall asleep.”
“Sorry,” Orrey croaked. “I’m such a…such a mess. I don’t know how to do anything right. Sorry.”
Senlas sighed. “Kitten. You are not a mess, and you did nothing wrong. Two minutes to get you a glass of water, and then you’re telling me what you think you did wrong. I’m not having you fall asleep in my bed thinking that kind of thing.”
True to his word, Senlas left and came back with a large glass of water. He’d taken the time to plop some fire berries into it, which made Orrey smile despite his puffy eyes and stuffy nose.
“There you go, kitten,” Senlas said, actually propping Orrey up and holding the glass to his lips, which was weird, but the Guardian gave no indication he’d budge and let Orrey take over.
“Thanks,” Orrey said when he’d finished most of the water.
“Anytime. Why do you think you’re a mess?”
Senlas had gotten in behind Orrey, making it impossible to hide his face in the pillows. There was only Senlas’s chest, and hiding against that was actually the last thing Orrey wanted to do with it.
He sucked on his bottom lip, considered lying, realized he had no energy for that left at all, and said, “I suck at sex. You’re right. Maybe I never really enjoyed it, and that’s why I only ever saw it as something to study, or I never enjoyed it because I saw it as a subject that needed studying.
“Anyway, I’m bad at it, and boring. I’m sorry I came in your mouth that quickly and without warning, and you didn’t even care, and that plug…you’ll get bored of me. I’m supposed to be your Conduit, and I’m not good at the best way to be a Conduit. I’m sorry.”
Senlas sighed noisily, patted Orrey’s head. “You are a piece of work, kitten. I shouldn’t have said anything about what you’ve been doing. There’s no right or wrong way to go about having sex with other people. For students in the Grounds, learning about sex in general and about it in the context of channeling is a part of the formal curriculum, which is why I should apologize.
“New Conduits can get overwhelmed by the smallest shift in their emotions when they start channeling, when they take channeling by touch to channeling during sex. You did that. I’m not sure if you even realized.
